5/13/2008

You Dropped Something!

Posted by Brandon |


On my way home from the mall today there was a woman walking a few feet up ahead of me. As she passed by one of the trees that line the sidewalk, she gave a casual little toss of something into one of the planter boxes. Noticing this, as I passed by the tree I bent down to see what it was. No surprise there, it was a wadded up receipt. So I picked it up, and yelled at her "Hey! You dropped something!" To which she turned her head around at me a little bit, and just kept on walking.

That's right bitch, I caught you littering!

So for the next almost two blocks, I kept yelling "Excuse me, ma'am, you dropped your receipt..." and so on. Her pace quickened, and since I had Addie in a stroller, I couldn't scream the obscenities that I wanted to or run up to her and smash it all up in her face, so I just had to let it go.

Ahhhh...I caught the fucking cunt littering and she didn't even get punished!

Willful and wanton littering is something that I just can't abide. I don't know how people do it. All my life I was raised not to litter. In school, on TV, at home, everywhere, you were told that littering is something you don't do. I never litter, at least on purpose. I suppose I've done it on accident once in a while. I thought that it was something that we had gotten past as a society.

So when I see people drop a receipt in a planter box, open up their car door and put their soda bottle down on the the street, let trash go flying out of the backs of their pickup trucks on the freeway...etc. etc. - it pisses me off so much. Finding a garbage can is not that fucking hard. Putting the receipt in your pocket and throwing it away at home isn't going to kill you.

So to all you litterers out there, especially you you nasty bitch walking home from the mall that wouldn't even acknowledge that I caught your dumb ass littering, just fuck the fuck off already. Ok? Thanks.

7 comments:

Dave2 said...

I thought I was the only one who does that! It's a favorite pass-time of mine. Once a man dropped a half-eaten bag of popcorn. I ran over and picked it up, then ran up to him and said "excuse me sir, you dropped your popcorn!" He went immediately on the attack and screamed "I don't want that shit!" Which probably would have cowered most people.

But not me.

I decided to go bat-ass crazy. Jumping around and screaming at the top of my lungs "Didn't want it? LITTERBUG LITTERBUG SHAME ON YOU! LOOK AT THE TERRIBLE THINGS YOU DO!" as I followed him down the street. After the second refrain he ripped the bag out of my hands, screamed an obscenity at me, then walked over to the trash and threw it away.

"NOW WAS THAT SO HARD?" I screamed back.

Sometimes life provides its own entertainment!

emeraldcityguy said...

There's now an 800 # to call in WA to report litterers! We called in some lazy beeyotch who tossed a baggie of dog poop out at a stop light one afternoon. Wish I could have smeared it on her windshield...

Rattling The Kettle said...

Finding a garbage can IS actually pretty hard.

Brandon said...

Dave - Man I wish I could've done something like that. But alas, not with a little one. Plus, in this place, you never know who has a shiv on them. She could've been wacked out on meth. I love Ventucky.

Emeraldcityguy - How do you report them? Do you get their name somehow or...

Rattling The Kettle - Yes it is, we all have one at home.

Whit said...

Nice. I hope she was embarrassed straight.

radioactive girl said...

I love that you did this! Littering is one of my pet peeves. My husband litters sometimes and it ticks me off like crazy. When we lived in the apartment in between houses, he left for work before I left to drop the kids off at preschool. Almost every day I would find a Diet Mountain Dew can right next to where he used to be parked. Guess who drinks Diet Mt Dew???? Obviously I picked it up and recycled it myself, but I just don't understand littering. It smacks of a sense of entitlement and just bugs the crap out of me.


Wow...what a nice first comment I am leaving here. Full of rant. I apologize!

Ginormous Boobs said...

I love shaming people!

We (Tabbie and I) love to scream GROSS when someone does something nasty...spitting, coughing and no covering their mouth, etc.

Subscribe