Our Dumb World

Posted by Brandon |

If there are two things that I know about bathroom reading, these are them...

1. Bathroom reading shouldn't be depressing. It should be light, fun and interesting, but never depressing.
2. Anything put out by The Onion is excellent bathroom reading. Short, to the point, funny.

So then why have I been getting so depressed lately on the pooper?

For either Christmas or my birthday I received The Onion's Our Dumb World as a gift. Obviously somebody (my wife) knows my bathroom reading habits. What I don't think she or I could've imagined is just how soul-crushing and sad an atlas published by The Onion could be. Sure it's really funny, some of it is absolutely hysterical, but behind all the snarkiness and the jokes comes way too much truth.

What you can't get from a normal atlas that you get from Our Dumb World is a pretty clear idea of just how fucked up a good portion of our world is. Almost all of Africa is completely fucked, Asia isn't much better, the Middle East is right there with them and Europe and South America have their own problems. And the countries that aren't totally a mess have a lot to do with making the ones that are fucked the way they are or they sit on the toilet reading about it and do nothing.

This is not the sad realization that I need when I sit down to do my business. Ignorance is both bliss and a great way to keep you regular. Thank god a new issue of Baseball America came today. That will provide me with, what, a day or two of reading material and then it's back to jokes about genocide and disease.

Perhaps I should just remove it from the bathroom.


Avitable said...

I love that book.

Peeved Michelle said...

Catalogs only in my bathrooms.

Colin Brooks said...

I don't read in the bathroom unless I am taking a bath (Yes, the kind with the salts and the bubbles, don't judge me). So when I am taking a bath I like to read light things (since for me the whole point of taking a bath is to relax and not worry or think too much).

Now that I think about it I haven't taken a bath in months. I don't have time for one. :(

I don't think you should read funny stuff though. I mean... when you're trying to... um... you know you don't want to laugh and clench... It's counter-"productive". Isn't it?