3/21/2007

The Return of Ponch

Posted by Brandon |

I am happy and proud to announce that while flipping through the channels the other day, I ran across this....


Motherfucking Erik "Ponch Poncharello" Estrada is back hawking property!!! WOO HOO!!! Ponch IS the first name in tricking Californians to purchase crappy, cheap property. Chuck Woolery, you can suck my balls.

And they have finally wised up and rewarded Erik for all of his hard work scamming people by letting him do a little bit of fishing...


And playing a couple rounds of golf...


He has even made friends with the Tellico townies who I'm sure are just ecstatic to welcome all of these Hollywood types to town.


Yes, for only $29,900 you too could own a little slice of heaven in Tellico Village, Tennesee. You too could live the good life golfing and fishing and making friends with the locals, just like our old buddy Erik here. Everything seems so perfect. Who could resist cheap, lakefront property in a beautiful part of Tennessee?

But late in the program I figured out what is really going on here. I've been wondering why you never actually meet anybody from any of these communities. You have to look very closely because it happens quickly and to the untrained eye is probably unnoticeable. But I think I was able to capture this horrible, horrible secret...


Holy shit! It's a Poncharello zombie! Noooooooo!!! He's attracting naive Californians to these communities and is slowly turning them into an unholy army of CHiPs that will eventually spread across this nation and feast upon the brains of the townies they took advantage of.

It all adds up. Ocean Shores? Beach zombies! Pagosa Lakes? Rugged zombies! Bella Vista? Wal-Mart zombies! Estrada must be stopped before his army of yuppified cheapasses invade yet another raging down home craphole.

Is Estrada a Scientologist? That could also be an explanation.

2 comments:

Hilly said...

Every time I see that advertisement on teevee, I have to look away...far far away.

Karl said...

Wow, that Ponch gets around, doesn't he? I haven't seen these ads and I'm glad.

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