Hand Grenades and Taxes

Posted by Brandon |

I was planning on extolling the virtues of Scott Brand Moist Wipes tonight, how did I go so long without knowing about these? But now all I want to do is curl up in a ball, listen to some sad bastard emo music and cry myself to sleep.

I was in a pretty good mood, all things considered. I had a decent day of work, I went and shot hoops for an hour after I got home, I loaded some more music onto my new iPod (30 GB is a big improvement over a 4 GB Mini), we started discussing a May trip to New York for a wedding and our anniversary. Other than the fact that I saw Death? for maybe ten minutes before she went to her overnight work shift, I was feeling pretty good.

Then I did our taxes. Oh. My. God. It all looked pretty good when after entering my income, I was due a decent refund. But then I had to go and start entering the wife's W2 and the next thing I knew, we owed a shit ton of money.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please excuse me while I wipe away the tears.

I'm sure there are some of you who owe more than that this year or have paid more than that in the past. But this is the first time that we have ever owed this kind of money to the IRS. I freaked the fuck out a couple years ago when I owed $150 but this is a whole other animal. This is more than a month's rent, this is more than I make each paycheck, this is more than a trip to New York in May, this is a big, fat, cold slap in the face that says "hey fucker, you're a grownup now!"

There is nothing in this world that bothers me more than money. I hate paying for intangible objects and I hate having to worry about running out of money, so owing money to the IRS is like my worst nightmare. I'm a even keel kind of person, I don't get too high and I rarely get too low. But worrying about money is the one thing that has the ability to make me very depressed...and now I am really worried.

Obviously we will be OK. I'll just mope around the house for the next few days and convince myself that there is no way that we can go anywhere fun this summer on vacation, but I'm sure that we'll figure out a way to pay this and do what we want to do. I'll just have to go on an extended diet of ramen and water.

Now if you will excuse me, I think I'm going to go eat a bowl of cereal, lie on the couch, wrap myself up in a blanket and fall asleep to the trashiest television I can find.

UPDATE - I should say that I didn't mean to make it sound like I am blaming Death? for screwing up. She didn't screw up at all, we just simply didn't know. We figured that we might owe a little bit, but nothing like this. Basically it just comes down to both of us earning more money than we ever have in our lives and not realizing that we needed to make a change. Chalk it up as a lesson learned and we both have taken steps to make sure that it doesn't happen again this year.


Dave2 said...

I hate it when this happens. And it always seems to happen in a year when I most need the refund. :-(

Avitable said...

Did she fill out her W-4 wrong or something?

We purposely have extra withdrawn to make sure we never owe. Of course, that means we're getting $10,000 as a refund this year, but I'm okay with that.

Peeved Michelle said...

Definitely make sure you claim 0 on your W-4s and have a little more taken out if needed.

Also, I prefer Cottonelle brand moist wipes.