3/13/2007

Turning 30

Posted by Brandon |

Tonight is both sadly and excitingly my last blog post as a member of the 20-something club. We are heading to Vegas for the weekend to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, the NCAA Tournament and my birthday on Sunday. I'll be back on Monday as a 30 year-old dude.

30 years-old? How the hell did that happen? Until this past week, I didn't think that turning 30 was going to be a big deal in the least bit. Just another birthday, that's all. But as the day grows closer and closer, I've been thinking about what it means and it's starting to freak me out a bit.

When you are in your twenties, you are much closer to college and you think about the future in hypothetical terms. Even when I was 28 or 29, I thought of myself as closer to my straight out of college days of internships and crappy jobs and how it would affect me when I grew up. Now that I am grown up at 30, I realize that it's time to be a full-fledged adult with steady employment who plans for a concrete future. Quite honestly, that's kind of scary. My twenties were so easy that, no matter what, my thirties are going to be much more difficult.

I'm scared to death about raising children. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be a great dad and I will definitely do my best (which is more than most fathers). But let's be honest, It's a total crapshoot. You can be the best dad in the world, but things can unravel for so many reasons. I really don't want to raise rude idiots and I don't think I will, but the uncertainty of the whole experience is so scary.

Not that I'm not ready for kids. I've been growing ready for a little one for a few years now. At some point recently I switched from thinking that babies were fat, ugly, stinky things to making oohing and awing sounds whenever I see them. I keep seeing guys around my age with kids and I get so excited about having my own. And quite honestly, sometimes I get teary eyed thinking about it. My biological clock is ticking loudly and now that I am almost 30, I know that it is time.

I don't have many regrets, but thinking back, I'm worried that I wasted the best years of my physical life by not being active. I didn't work out and I didn't play much in the way of sports and now I'm starting to pay the price. My body broke down the last three weeks of the Mormon basketball season and I was embarrassed by the way that I played. I felt like I was 40 rather than just turning 30.

But I have become addicted to playing basketball. I love to play like no other time in my life but my body isn't letting me do it at a high level. I'm going to start a pretty intense strength and conditioning program that I found on a college basketball website so that I can make my 30's a much more active and healthy time of my life.

I don't know what kind of point I'm trying to make. I've got such mixed feelings about turning 30 that I haven't totally been able to wrap my head around it. I don't think that I am going to change, I will still be the laid back goofball that you know and love today, but things are going to be harder and much more serious. I think that I'm OK with that, but it does kind of freak me out.

6 comments:

DutchBitch said...

Have a great time! And um... if you are having mixed feelings about turning 30, imagine what us 30-something feel like!!! 30 is a breeze!

Avitable said...

Happy birthday - you'll still be the exact same after the weekend. Well, except that you'll officially be old.

Dave2 said...

30 bothered me more than 40, so it gets easier!

Best of birthday wishes to you Brandon!

kapgar said...

Meh, 30 is nothing. Trust me on that one.

Hilly said...

30 is not at all bad...I've learned that my 30's were so much better than my 20's and I swear that 40 better really be the new 20.

Don't look at this age as the end-all where you have to start making decisions and grow up more or any of that shit. Just enjoy your life!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM MY MID THIRTIES TO YOUR EARLY THIRTIES ;)

Karl said...

Happy birthday, dude. 30 really isn't bad. Now, 31...ugh.

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