Ponch Says "Come To Ocean Shores!"

Posted by Brandon |

Before I went to bed last night I decided to grab myself a bowl of cereal and watch the first part of Conan O'Brien. Unfortunately Conan was delayed because they had Wimbledon coverage at 11:30 so I was forced to do a little channel surfing. Imagine my horror when I saw this...

"Ocean Shores is beautiful, Ocean Shores is great, come to Ocean Shores!" said Llewellyn "Ponch" Poncharello. That's right, that is Erik Estrada in a half hour infomercial trying to sell Californians property in Ocean Shores, Washington.

There are just so many things wrong with this infomercial that it blows my mind. First of all, have you ever been to Ocean Shores, Washington? Well, three words come to mind when I think of Ocean Shores. Cold, wet and depressing. I've been to Ocean Shores hundreds of times and it has never been sunny. Seriously, maybe once but that's it. It could be 100 degrees in Olympia but once you hit Grays Harbor, it's 60, cloudy, a little rainy and windy. So why would any Californian want to move there? I live on the beach in California right now and let me tell you something, Washington beaches cannot compare, in any way.

Second, stop selling Californians property in Washington State! What evil corporation is actually attempting to lure these assholes up to our fair state? (if you reading this are Californian, I didn't mean you are an asshole, just everyone else). Well, it's a company in Irvine that has sunk their evil claws into some property and are now doing this creepy timeshare kind of thing with it. However, they will fly you for free up to Ocean Shores to have a look around. I'm thinking it might be a good way to get our Christmas flight home paid for.

Third, how far has Ponch fallen? Seriously, I thought The Surreal Life was as far as you could fall. I know people go on that show to hopefully give their careers a boost. But apparently it didn't do much for old Erik Estrada. They showed him in Ocean Shores walking around so that means that he had to go there at least for a few minutes. That really must of been a historic day for the city.

In closing, come on! Ocean Shores, Washington? You can't even sell Washingtonians on that town let alone Californians. Although some people are so desperate to move away from California for lower home prices they will move anywhere. Maybe I should buy some property in Cle Elum or Ritzville or Forks or some other piece of crap Washington town and start selling it above market price to Californians. I wonder if Corey Feldman is available to do the infomercials...Hmmmmm


Blake said...

Well I am a Californian who was almost lured into the Oceany-shores of Washington State. I have driven through that lovely state via interstate 5 and loved every mile of it. My thinking was, Washington is beautiful, I love the beach, Washington + beach = awesome. But apparently this is a misconception. Thanks for the heads-up about Ocean Shores sucking, but I may still go just to get the free trip. I love flying, it makes me feel like a grown-up.