DOWN WITH PANTS!

Please, please, please, shut the fuck up! I just found this ad in the back of the Ventura County Reporter and I nearly lost my shit...

Noooooooo!!!! Quit promoting our fair state! Especially to Californians. I would one day like to live in Port Townsend and after three years down here, I won't want them anywhere near my Washington home.

Erik Estrada hawking Ocean Shores and Anderson Island is one thing, but those commercials were just sad and hard to take seriously. Plus those ads are made by Californian developers who don't give a damn about what they are doing to those communities.

But you monsters are selling out your own people. If you bring Californians in, they will build a strip mall in the middle of Fort Warden. Your tree covered hills will be full of palm tree cell phone towers. BMW's will clog the streets.

For the love of Gheorghe Muresan, please stop. Property values are skyrocketing without Californians, your profits will be fine. You don't need them, they are not worth the money. Your Victorian Seaport is great as is and I'm happy that a Subaru Forrester is typically the most exotic car that you ever see in town.


Thanks a bunch, you dirty traitorous bastards,