9/23/2006

Apologetic

Posted by Brandon |

I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to the idiots who may have been offended by anything that I have said here at Down With Pants! in the past week. If you were offended, I apologize

I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who was offended by me calling them idiots. I mispoke, you are not idiots, but a bunch of pussies. Wah, wah, wah...

Ok, ok...seriously, I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who was offended by my insensitive remarks toward women. Calling a bunch of whiney babies pussies is not acceptable and I understand that. I should have just called them a bunch of homos and moved on...wait, no, that's not what I meant!

I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to the Down With Pants! gay community for my unfathomable insensitivity when I used the term homo as a synonym for whiney babies and idiots and pussies. It was a shitty thing to do and if you were offended, I am sorry.

Damn...I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who was offended when I used an inappropriate word in my apology to those whiney homos in the last paragraph. If you were offended, I again am sorry and I will try to choose my words more wisely in the future.

Sorry, Damn is not appropriate either. If you were offended, please accept my apology.

Sorry, I said that D-word again.

Ugh, let's try this one more time. If you have been offended by anything that I have ever written, I am sincerely and profoundly sorry. Their is no reason for it and They're is no excuse for it.

I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who was offended by my improper use of the words "their" and "they're" in the last paragraph. If I offended any Grammar Nazi's out there, I am sorry.

I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who was offended by my use of the term "Grammar Nazi's". I was insensitive to Nazis everywhere and if they were offended, then I am sorry.

I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who was offended by me offering my sincere and profound apologies to Nazi's. If you were offended, I am sorry.

Finally, I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who read this far down. It was insensitive of me to subject you to a post this lame. If you were offended, then I am very sorry.

8 comments:

Avitable said...

Wouldn't "Grammar Nazis" be appropriate, since it's not a possessive?

/card-carrying member of the grammar nazi party.

Anonymous said...

So what you are actually meaning to say is.... I'm Rude... DEAL WITH IT!

Message received and confirmed. Back at ya!

;-)

Yay!!!

Dave2 said...

I wasn't offended by DOWN WITH PANTS until I read this apology...

Anonymous said...

yeah, what Dave2 said. :D

Dustin said...

Your blatant concern for what other people think is offensive to me. I demand an apology.

RW said...

Not good enough. Give me all your star players from the fantasy league... free... and I won't harm you.

kapgar said...

I feel so offended and I'm not sure you can ever apologize enough to make up for it. But RW is on the right track. However, I'd prefer you just go back and give me winning scores in the first two weeks. That's a great start. And, hey, you are the commish, you can make it happen!

So what brought this on? Hate mail?

James McG said...

2 things, Mr. S....#1 these comments are exactly why I let my brother be one of your best friends....LOL....and #2 my cool verification on this comment is olypk....anything with oly in it has to suck...kinda like your apologies in this blog!

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