Partnership For a Drug-Free Taco Shop

Posted by Brandon |

The other day at lunch, I was physically sickened by someone's appearance.

I wish that was something I never would have to say, but it's completely true and after figuring out what the problem was - or at least making a very educated guess - I don't really feel that bad about it.

I was waiting in line at Snapper Jack's Taco Shack and a women came in to pick up a phone order. She looked completely normal - normal height, normal weight, normal hair, she was dressed relatively well and other than looking like she smoked, she had a normal face.

Then, she opened her mouth and GODDAMN! She had teeth going every which way, one on top of the other, another pointing almost straight out, big huge gaps, crooked, broken, yellow, disgusting, horrible, nasty. Oh man, just looking at her teeth made my stomach churn, my body twitch and the thought of fish tacos totally and completely unappealing.

How can anybody end up with teeth that bad? Poor hygiene? No dental insurance? Boxing career?

Nope. The most likely culprit? Meth. Death? said it was the classic meth head look. Totally normal....FUCKED UP TEETH!

Now, I'm not an addictive personality so I don't know what it's like to have something like drugs rule your every waking moment, but I can't imagine taking anything that has such a quantifiable and visible side effect on you. It's one thing to gradually get skinny or whatever, it's another thing to go all crazy-style snaggletooth.

I guess what I'm trying to say is...meth heads, please stay away from Snapper Jack's. The only thing that should upset my stomach like that is salsa and beans. No nauseating smiles needed.

Oh yeah, and kids...just say no.


Speaking of meth heads....

Mr. Potato Head! Say it ain't so!


kapgar said...

That's what meth does? Really? That helps explain a couple people I've seen that sound eerily similar to your taco gal. Gahhh...

Whit said...

Search online for a meth timeline. It's amazing to see how fast someone goes from normal looking to that. Just a couple of months. We used the pictures to get our kids to brush their teeth.

Avitable said...

You mean you didn't want to make out with her and stick your tongue down her throat?