Posted by Brandon |

First the bad news: Today I was the victim of what my now ex-employer likes to call a "Reduction-In-Force", or as it is referred to many times in my paperwork, a RIF. Oooo...a cute little nickname for what otherwise is a nastier, more final version of a layoff. Thirty people, including myself, got the ax today since my ex-company - I have to check my contract to see if I can safely refer to them by name. Let's just call them The Cobblee Spleen and Teal Lief for now - is currently tanking.

Now the good news: This is fucking awesome! Losing a job never felt so right. I was going to take about eight weeks off starting in April anyway. I was going to use all of my vacation and then take advantage of California's Paid Family Leave Act to get paid. I can still do that, so it seems - maybe tomorrow I'll find out it doesn't work - but they did pay me an OK severance package and cashed out my vacation. And they did me a favor by setting me up to get some unemployment benefits after the Paid Family Leave Act money drys up. It all basically leads to me not working and staying home with Addie, and getting paid, until we move out of California and back to Seattle in July.

I have now been laid-off from four jobs. Is that a record? Probably not.

I was let go by the Richmond Roosters baseball team after they decided that they couldn't pay me anymore. It was partially my fault because I struggled selling ads and tickets for them, but they insisted it wasn't necessarily performance based. I then lost my job at Ebbets Field Flannels when they moved their warehouse, and my position, to Connecticut. In Ventura, Lime Green toy company almost went out of business and since I was the last employee in, I was cut because they couldn't pay me. And now this, The Cobblee Spleen.

The only reason that I'm at all disappointed is that I hated to leave my co-workers. The two people that I worked with on a daily basis are awesome people and employees and will always be my friends. I'm really worried that they will have to put up with a bunch of crap from a new supervisor (I was the boss) and they are not going to be happy about it. I kept them very effective by keeping them very happy. What do I care if they knock off a little bit early or need a day or two off here and there because of family stuff? They are hourly employees, as long as the work gets done, it only hurts their pocketbook.

Otherwise, I'm so excited to not be working. I'm going to be home for the first round of the NCAA Tournament! How awesome is that? Great timing!

Oh yeah, I'm also mad that I thought of a great line to use just after the HR rep left my office - "Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well."


Dave2 said...

Congratulations! Nice to know that everything is going as planned then. It always gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling when people are living their dreams!

Seriously though, sorry you got crapped on, and good luck to you in your future job hunting endeavors.

Avitable said...

I'm glad that it's going to work out for you - maybe they did you a favor!

Anonymous said...

Well I am glad that this is a good moment for you and not a terrible scary one!

Maybe now we can get together what with all that extra time on your side ;).

Peeved Michelle said...

Oh, great. No more reviews of restaurants in Camarillo. Your RIF sucks for me.

Brandon said...

Dave - After I told Death? and explained to her how it was good, that's what she said - Congratulations!

Avitable - Yeah, I'm kind of taking it as a favor. I was bored to tears there anyway.

Hilly - Except now I have a new boss, a much more demanding, less understanding, more poopy one.

Michelle - We'll see. There's a couple places I still want to try and a bunch of places I went that I haven't gotten around to Yelping.

Rattling The Kettle said...

Looking at the bright side, you can truly live the Down With Pants life, now that you no longer have an employer demanding you put on a pair of trousers every day.

Sorry you got canned. On to bigger and better!

Brandon said...

Rattling the Kettle - You beat me to a blog post. I'm officially finally going to live up to the Down With Pants! motto.

Replicant said...

Yes! Unemployment is a good thing. You are now friend #3 who is drawing those sweet government checks.