Posted by Brandon |

This morning, on my way to work, I pulled up behind this Honda Insight you see pictured above. For those of you who don't know, the Insight is a hybrid, in fact it was the first mass produced hybrid sold in the United States, so that peace sign proudly displayed on the bumper is no surprise. And the personalized license plate 1CINAPE, which I interpret to be "Once 'N Ape", is an obvious declaration of the belief of evolution over creationism. Ok, sounds good, I don't know why you need to put that on a license plate, but whatever, I get the point. All of these things add up to her being a run of the mill liberal hippie.

And of course, to go along with the hippie part of the equation, a little bit of consumption is in order. Surprise, surprise...it's a cigarette...

First of all, to all the liberals and hippies out there, smoking is perhaps the most conservative thing that you can possibly do. All you do is support the most right wing parts of this country by smoking a cigarette. I know that we can never stop using products that put money into the coffers of people we don't like, but if there is one product that you can definitely cut off the money to, it's the tobacco industry. Your dollars are hard at work both killing you slowly and killing all of your beliefs - so quit smoking already.

Secondly, if you are driving a hybrid you are obviously concerned about our environment, or at least want to give off the impression that you care. So then why the fuck are you flinging your cigarette out the window and into the street? Yes it's a little item and you probably think that it's all biodegradable, but son-of-a-bitch, it isn't! Nope, the filters are filled with all sorts of nasty chemicals and are made of something that isn't going to break down for quite some time. Hard to believe, but it's true.

With that in mind, here's a little quiz, let's see how you do. A hippie driving a hybrid that flings here cigarette out of her window is:

A. A stupid as shit sack of crap
B. A lazy asshole who can't dirty her precious car
C. A hypocrite
D. Part of the problem
E. All of the above

If you guessed E. then you are at least on the right track. If you want your credentials as a hippie liberal back, quit smoking. If you can't do that, then at least learn how to use your ashtray.


Dave2 said...

Maybe it was a hybrid cigarette?

Avitable said...

I think his license plate says "Once I Napped".

Or "One Cinnamon Apple".

RW said...

Another trait of liberals in California is they know what's best for everybody else and discount entire regions of the country as too conservative for anyone to actually like. Saying, pretty much, if the planes on 9/11 flew into towers somewhere in Raleigh we wouldn't care as much because, you know, less rednecks to deal with.

Anonymous said...

In the words of Eric Cartman, "God Damned Hippies!". Seriously, I have to quantify my "level of liberal" because of tards like that!

Peeved Michelle said...

You don't leave room for the possibility that she doesn't give a crap about the environment and only drives a hybrid to save on gas costs.

People in the Sun said...

You're right. Of course, the driver is not necessarily a self-proclaimed Liberal, and hippies don't have personalized license plates, but I'll give you Democrat. And s/he is giving money to the biggest Republican donors: tobacco companies.

Personally, I knew all that when I were a smoker, and it made me feel awful, but it wasn't enough to make me stop. It took my Honey getting pregnant to do that.

The Holmes said...

Yes! Yes! We have that brand of point-missing liberals here in Austin as well and it pisses me off.