The First 10 Topics To Come To Mind

Posted by Brandon |

1. Borat is the funniest movie I have seen this year, maybe ever. It's everything that you expected. It's rude, it's crude, it's offensive and it's ridiculous. But, surprisingly, it is also very well written, it has a great little plot with twists and turns along the way and one of the best endings ever. Borat for Best Picture!

2. I won my second poker tournament on Friday night, but it was the first tournament that I ever won while I was wasted off my ass. Don't ever let anybody tell you that doctors can't party like rock stars. I still am a little hungover, but at least I'm $25 richer.

3. Studio 60 blows. I'll continue watching only because John Goodman is currently making a guest appearance, but if it doesn't get better by the time he is off, I'm done.

4. This big, fat white boy is talking about his "ghetto card" and making jokes about black people on Comedy Central right now. It's not funny in the least bit. You have no "ghetto card" and you don't really want one.

5. I was supposed to interview a guy whose name sounded black the other day. Unfortunately, he didn't show up, he was sick, but I didn't get the message until much later. When I said that whatever his name was didn't show and our temp realized that it was a black name, she couldn't stop going on and on about how "the brothers" are never on time and never show up to appointments. On the surface, it sounded really, really racist. But she is a Mexican girl who is married to a black guy, so I guess she must have a "ghetto card", although I just think she's racist. Either way.

6. Now the big, fat white boy is talking about midgets. That's ground breaking comedy! UPDATE: Now he's talking about retards! Woo hoo!

7. Weekend Santa Ynez winery recommendation: Rancho Sisquoc - Foxen Canyon Road north of Los Olivos - most serene picnic spot of any winery I've ever been to and very good wine to boot.

8. My soccer team has lost the last three games by a combined score of 25-0. In three seasons we are 0-15-2. I'm mainly out there to run around and get some exercise, but when the other team pulls their goalie and starts shoving it in your face, it stops being very much fun. If I want to be embarrassed, I'll do it to myself, thank you very much.

9. I think I may have made a lady cry today in the Subway parking lot at lunch. I don't care, she deserved it. She was backing out of a parking space, I turned the corner and saw her backing out so I stopped to wait for her to go by. All she had to do was back straight out, turn toward me and go around. Instead she didn't back up far enough so when she turned toward me she was coming straight at me. She wanted me to go around her on the other side but I wouldn't do it. So I sat there and made her correct the way that she pulled out. But she couldn't do it, she tried once and had plenty of room to go around, but then she screwed it up and ended in the same place. Defeated by simple, everyday driving, she just sat there and looked lost. I finally gave up and went around her the wrong way, but not before giving her the business with my wild and flailing sign language. Where is the mandatory drivers re-test proposition when you need it?

10. Speaking of voting, get out and vote tomorrow, unless you are Republican, in which case you should go see Borat and see for yourself just how dumb your fellow party members sound and look and leave the running of the country to the educated. That's right, I said it.


Anonymous said...

I am totally offended that neither me nor Hilly were amongst the first 10 things on your mind...


snackiepoo said...

LMAO Dutchy....

Another non-Repub? Sweeet. Of course, we do live in liberal SoCal although Orange County is nastily Republican.

Uhhhhh, my dentist comes to our poker nights and talks about girls, drugs, blah blah. It's all very cool.

Jesse said...

Some lady didn't stop at the stop sign/big STOP lettering/crosswalk that Becky and I were in today. Luckily, I had seen her pull out of her spot, said to Becky, "I bet she doesn't stop" and slowed our walking a little bit. She had her window down too, so when I yelled, "HELLO?! STOP?!" at her she just looked over with a blank "what's going on?" look and kept going. She wasn't even old!