The Lost Blogs - Day 4

Posted by Brandon |

Day 4 of the GBBMC to promote Pauly's new book, The Lost Blogs. Can you guess who my guest blogger is? Email me with your guesses or just leave them in the comments, I don't care. Only two people have guessed correctly so far but there are a ton of good clues in this one.

This Is My Game, Fatty

I have to ask you, how can anybody consider that fat son-of-a-bitch Ruth a better ballplayer than Our Hero after what I did this week? Nobody, absolutely nobody. My old, aching bones showed that I am twice the player than Ruth can ever dream of being. I stuck it straight up his ass and gave it a turn. Now I can go back to the right way of playing this game instead of Babe's bastard version of baseball.

Ever since Ruth switched from being a pitcher that I ate for lunch to this abomination of a baseball player back in '18, I have sat back and watched this waste dominate the game. Until a couple of days ago, I never stooped to his level. I knew who was better and that was all that mattered.

But I just couldn't take it anymore. I told some flake reporter that all I was going to do was swing for the fences during this series. All I did was go 6-for-6 with three homeruns in the first game and the next day I hit another two homers. Not too shabby for an old-catfish like myself.

I can hit a homerun anytime I want to, but who wants to just jog around the bases like that. Maybe some beer guzzling, womanizing, gonorrhea laden, half-negro who doesn't even belong in the game. But I say to hell with that. I prefer to come in shin high, spikes out like I have always done. From Royston to Augusta to Detroit. A Georgia boy like me doesn't waddle, we sprint. Sprint and destroy.

You won't see me in a trot ever again, even if I hit that ball over the fence, someone's going to be on his ass. I may be an old man but I am still the best player in this game, bar none. I can do whatever I want, when I want. I hope that son-of-a-bitch Ruth got the message during his bed rest.


Rabbit said...

Maybe I should have paid better attention when my cousins would Show & Tell their baseball cards.

Eden said...

Georgia? All I can think of with Georgia and this attitude is Ty Cobb but the anachronisms throw me off that train of thought.

suze said...

oh if only i'd paid attention in hisory of baseball class ;)

no idea. but i'm enjoying!

amandarin said...

I know nothing about baseball or baseball players, but I'm enjoying your posts anyway!

Karl said...

Um, Yogi Berra?

Yeah, as you can tell, I am a huge follower of baseball. I don't even know who holds the record for most field goals in a season.

margalit said...

Ty Cobb