DOWN WITH PANTS!

Day 3 of the GBBMC to promote Pauly's new book, The Lost Blogs. Can you guess who my guest blogger is? Email me with your guesses or just leave them in the comments, I don't care.

Good lord it's been a busy week, but damn it's been good one. I hopped on a train to Syracuse for an exhibition game, went 2-for-4 with a couple of stolen bases, spiked some rube right in the shins (that dirty SOB bled like crazy!) and killed myself a mugger.

You heard me right, I can't believe it either. I went 2-for-4 and I'm happy with that? Well, I had to barrel over that fat bastard they had playing first base on one of my outs, I think I might have broken his shoulder, so that is almost as good as a hit. You know, that's what I do, I've got to stake my claim. People are going to get hurt. I'm out there playing with a knife cut in my back, I just have to level the playing field a bit.

How did I get cut? It's no big deal really. I was driving my Chalmers to the train station with Charlie (she always comes with me to see me off and then drives the car back after I leave) when I saw these three guys waving at me to stop, so I slowed down to see what they wanted. Next thing I know they are shoving a knife in my face and demanding all of our money.

You should know by now that no son-of-a-bitch messes with Our Hero, so I did what I had to do. I came out of the car swinging, I got two of the punks down on the ground when the third jumped on my back and stuck his knife right in me. Without even so much as a whimper, I hopped up, pulled my gun and started firing. Unfortunately, the damn thing stuck.

These three bastards, knowing how lucky they just got, jumped to their feet and started running. I ran down one of them and left him in a really sorry state. Then I cornered another in a dead end alley off of Trumbull. My piece of junk gun finally did some good. I beat him viciously, slashing his face completely off with the sight on my Luger. I left him there, not breathing, in his own rotten blood. Guess he learned his lesson.

I went back to the car, stuck a kerchief in my wound, drove to the station, kissed the wife goodbye and then hopped on the train to Syracuse where I had a couple of hits. You know, just another week in the life of Our Hero.