OFFICIAL DWP! PRESS RELEASE - FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
(Ventura, CA) - The entire Down With Pants! community is saddened and sickened by the news that one of our own, Larry, was gunned down by assassins in an apparent ambush by paramilitary political extremeists. Larry was the white guy, people thought he was funny. A real estate investor, he made a lot of money. DWP! will never be the same.
While out on official Down With Pants! business this afternoon, Larry stopped at the Top Hat Burger shack in downtown Ventura for chili fries. Top Hat is the place where the cool hang out, the SWASS like to play and the rich flaunt clout. After grubbing down his chili fries, Larry naturally had to use the public restroom up the block. Gunmen waited for his entrance and Larry was murdered, execution style in a stall. Passersby outside reported that six masked men, all wearing pants, ran out of the restroom yelling "Arriba Con Pantalones!"
DWP! promises swift retribution to whoever perpetrated this terrible crime and issues this statement to Larry's killers: "Boy I got a def posse you got a bunch a dudes. Your broke cold crying about the rock man blues. Ya beat up on your girl and now your all upset. She's with the Down With Pants! posse on the Broadway set."
Clockin' lots of dollars, we all got gold. But cruisin in this Benz and ain't got no place to go will never be the same without Larry. He is survived by five fella's and 22 freaks. PLB!!!
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Hey, it's Brandon!
About Me
I'm a 32 year-old dude who is happily married to his best friend in the whole world and just welcomed a beautiful little girl into our happy family. I love playing softball, basketball and soccer despite my amazing suckiness at all sports. I'm a shining example of what one can accomplish after six years of college without earning a degree.
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1 comments:
Sorry to hear about Larry. Ain't nuthin' sadder than watching the Man being taken down by the Man.
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