Tailgate This, Bitch!

Posted by Brandon |

Nothing pisses me off more than someone who comes flying up on my ass on the freeway. Typically it's some douchebag in his new BMW or Mercedes trying to be the big shit on the freeway to compensate for his itty-bitty, teeny-weeny peeny. Well, I don't like taking that shit, but what am I going to do.

Every once in a while I am able to do something about it, albeit something small and stupid, but still, it makes me very happy. I love to annoy! In the following pictures I'm the lite green car and the asshole is the red car...

In the above picture you see itty-bitty peeny man tailgating me. All three of the lanes are blocked so Mr. Impatient tries to send me a message by riding my ass.

So I speed up giving dude some hope that he will be able to make the pass and continue on his 90 MPH way.

But just before he is able to cut off the guy in the top lane, nearly taking him out because of his need for meathead speed, I back off the gas, slowly letting the brown car pull ahead of me.

Of course homeboy then changes lanes and starts tailgating the brown car. I continue to drift back a little bit until the asshole almost has a clear shot of cutting me off.

But as soon as it looks like he is ready to make his move, I speed up, block his way, pass the brown car up causing the Beemer to change lanes again and start tailgating me in the hopes that he can make his move. Thus, the whole process starts over again.

As long as the two cars in the the other lanes cooperate (and usually, if there isn't any other traffic, the other drivers catch on and help) I will keep this up for as long as I can. I know it's kind of an asshole thing to do in it's own right and can be extremely dangerous depending on how little the guys penis is, but I don't really give a damn. It's one of the few things I can do on the freeway to punish the assholes. It's time that somebody does some punishing. The California Highway Patrol sure as shit won't.


Anthonylemons said...

Oh man, How I can relate, and you and I do the same damn thing. Keep that bastard from obtaining his goal of passing everyone. I act as if I'm oblivious to his intentions. I hope everyone begins doing this tactic. Keep it up.