Fun With Random Medicine Review Questions

Posted by Brandon |

Death? just randomly flipped open her Family Medicine Board Review book and landed on this little gem...

"369. A 38-year-old describes severe rectal pain associated with pallor, diaphoresis, and tachycardia that lasts for only a few minutes. The pains occur mostly at night and are described as spasms. The most likely diagnosis is...

A) thromobosed hemorrohoids
B) irritable bowel syndrome
C) ulcerative colitis
D) gay bowel syndrome
E) proctalgia fugax"

So, show of hands. How many of you are going with "gay bowel syndrome" just out of the sheer want to answer a question with "gay bowel syndrome"?

"Answer and Discussion
The answer is E. Proctalgia Fugax is a unique anal pain. Patients...experience severe episodes of spasm-like pain that often occur at night. Proctaglia fugax may only occur once a year, or may be sporadic in waves of three or four times per week. Each episode lasts only minutes, but the pain is severe...Patients experience urgency to defecate, yet pass no stool...little can be done to treat proctalgia fugax."

In so many words, proctalgia fugax is simply a fucking awful random ass spasm that has virtually no rhyme or reason or has any treatment. What a pain in the butt that must be!

And gay bowel syndrome is so out of favor in the medical community that Death? assumed it was a fake answer option. Turns out, it's not. It was a term coined in the 1970's to describe a bunch of anal disorders found in gay males. It fell out of favor in the 80's because it is was so inherently wrong and is only used today by anti-homosexual groups.

Death? says it's inclusion as an answer on the test is probably to throw off old-timers that still think it's an accepted term. It helps root out the old troll doctors that haven't kept up with the times.

Oh the things you learn and the fun you can have when you just randomly open up a medicine board review book.


Yesterday and today in Down With Pants! history...

2007 - Polenta = Masa = Ewww = Sleeping on the Couch and Happy Feet is Propaganda
2006 - 2006 Sitcom Tournament - Sweet Sixteen
2005 - Weezer!!!