4/24/2008

My Thighs! My Thighs!

Posted by Brandon |

So you know that part in Juno where Pauly Bleeker is getting ready to go running and he takes his deodorant and applies it to his inner thighs...


Not only did this scene catch my attention because Michael Cera's short shorts and pasty white legs really do it for me - I'm not surprised Juno wanted a piece of that, but also because I suffer from an affliction known as thightinimus fattidius, or fat thigh disease. I have fat thighs. I have fat thighs that like to rub together and it bothers the shit out of me. I need a solution and Juno gave me an idea.

So tonight before softball, because I need to make sure I'm geared up for maximum performance for beer league softball, I went ahead and rolled it on. And guess what? It actually works! Thigh friction be gone!

Seriously, if you're like me and you have thigh friction issues, and I think a lot of people do, fat or not, I highly recommend this little runners trick. Throw some deodorant up on those thighs and not only will your crotch smell like Old Spice (in my case) but your inner thighs will be nice and lubricated. You too will be ready to suck at softball.

So thanks Juno! Not only have you made me cry (yes, I cried, I still kick ass!), but you've also made me think...about my inner thighs. My friction-free inner thighs.

UPDATE: Thanks to Peeved Michelle for so snarkily alerting me to a few of the different friction creams available...


Greyhound Juice Anti-Friction Cream and Brave Soldier Friction Zone look like great little products. I had no idea that this was even an option. But why would I search out and spend money on these items when I can just spread some Old Spice on down there? Hmmm...perhaps I'll have to compare and contrast all of these items very soon.

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Today in Down With Pants! History...

2007 - Telecommuting
2006 - Shameless Cross Promotion - Central Valley Coyotes

6 comments:

Avitable said...

I have tried that a few times. It really does work.

kapgar said...

Seriously?

I've started running again so I might have to give this a shot. Yep, I'm a big guy too. But you've seen pictures of me so you know.

Peeved Michelle said...

Here ya go, fatty.

Friction Zone

Anti-Friction Cream

Dan said...

This is extreemly timely. I've been doing a load of walking recently and have had a problem with friction.

I thought I was the only one.

See, I knew the internet was of use for something.

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