An Ocean's Twelve Mystery

Posted by Brandon |

I was thinking about going to see Ocean's Thirteen last week because I'm a sucker for summer blockbusters but I never saw Ocean's Twelve and I was afraid that I would get lost without the knowledge of what happens in the second chapter - A fear that in retrospect was probably unfounded. Rocket science these films are not.

Anyway, I added it to the Netflix queue the other day and this evening we sat down to watch Danny and Rusty and the two whole scenes that Eddie Izzard are in but within fifteen minutes both the wife and I started to have some serious deja vu. It all looked way too familiar and the next thing we know, we were both rattling off "plot" points that come an hour later. No, we didn't just guess what happens like most everybody did within the first fifteen minutes, we realized that we had actually seen the whole thing before.

The problem is that neither of us can recall when, where or why we saw Ocean's Twelve. I have no clue at all. I should remember. I remember just about every movie that I have ever seen but I've been under the impression for however many years that I never saw it. I've been thinking about renting it or adding it to Netflix for quite some time. I'm almost 100% sure we didn't see it in the theater, I would've remembered paying nine bucks on something that bad, and I'm almost positive that we never rented it.

My only theories are that I watched it on an airplane or late night on TBS or while I was wasted off my ass. Since I barely ever fly and when I do they rarely have movies on the plane. I also don't drink much so unless I watched it on Halloween a couple years ago or after my bachelor party I wouldn't have seen it while blacked out drunk. I do stay up late but I almost always watch Letterman and Conan and I can't remember the last time I watched a movie on TBS.

So why do I know everything that happens and why does Death? know it all too? Was it really that predictable of a movie or did we in fact see it but watching it was so traumatic that we blocked the entire day out of our minds? Why couldn't Ocean's Eleven stuck more to the original Martin and Sinatra script so we wouldn't have to put up with these sequels?

All good questions, I guess. But the real question is why did I continue watching once I figured out that I had already seen it? I doubt we will ever be able to answer that or get those two hours of my life back.


kapgar said...

Ocean's Twelve was terrible so I can totally understand you having repressed any memory of having seen it before. I wish I could do the same, to be honest. But you do need to know at least a very little tiny bit to know everything that is going on in Thirteen, which, by the way, is MUCH better.

Avitable said...

Ocean's Twelve was bad. I just saw 13 last night, and it was very reminiscent of the first one. They should just rename this one Ocean's Twelve and forget the second one was made.

The Freelance Cynic said...

Come now. If it was a complicated plot that cast would have found it to hard to follow

Replicant said...

maybe 13 was better but i still didn't think it was all that great. i'm missing the boat on these films.