DWP! Suggestion Box Day 2: Celebrity Breakdowns

Posted by Brandon |

Thank you to Narnarnarnar for suggesting this subject. I still need some good ideas for tomorrow and for the rest of the week. Please leave me a comment on what you want me to write about.

I'm expecting two celebrities to have major public breakdowns sooner or later. Both are very famous actresses who have recently been in the tabloids for their romantic endeavors. One has been a constant source of fodder for the paparazzi while the other does a great job of staying out of the limelight. One is constantly pushing the envelope and the other just does good movies.

The first is Angelina Jolie. She has been through the wringer many, many times in her career and survived and even become stronger. But sooner or later her near consant presence in the tabloids is going to catch up with her. Something is going to happen concerning her adopted Cambodian children and all hell will break loose in her life. The paparazzi will tear her to shreds over some simple misunderstanding or out of context comment and she will go crazy defending herself. There will probably be an immediate media firestorm that will quickly calm down and she will dissappear for a few years until the time is right to make a major comeback.

The second is Renee Zellweger. What i remember the most about Renee Zellweger isn't her great performances or all the awards that she has won over the last ten years. No, what I remember is the drunken or stoned Renee from early in her career that always managed to make a complete jackass of herself at public appearances. Usually it was minor award shows where she was presenting something in between filming movies like Empire Records or Me, Myself and Irene. She rarely was coherent, she rarely looked better than most crack whores and she rarely made good films. Now she makes only award worthy films, always looks her best and at least attempts to sound smart.

But she recently married a musician, has been throwing herself into a lot of voice work and lets be honest, there are only so many good years in that sucking on a lemon face of hers before she will need extensive plastic surgery to keep it looking good. Something has got to give. The tabloids will eat her up when it all falls down and poor Renee will revert back to her early days of mumblemouthing crack whore-dom or, as I like to call her, my favorite Renee.