DOWN WITH PANTS!

I have decided that I am going to make a run for public office. First I will start at the local level, either city council or mayor, depending on the size of the town that I run in and the power of the positions. Then hopefully we will take it national, possibly a congressional run or maybe even president.

Why this sudden interest in politics? Well, I have recently discovered a political issue that I feel very, very strongly about and I need to hold a position that will give me the power to enact legislation and bring about a change in the lives of the people of this country. I believe that this legislation will vastly improve the quality of life for everyone and will bring joy throughout the land.

Today is a new day for America, my friends. Today is a day that will be forever remembered as the day that optimism sprung anew in this great land of ours. Our worries as a nation were squelched and all was right again with America.

Because today, I announce my intention of running for office with the sole goal and moral duty to pass one law, and only one law and to see that it is upheld and enforced...

Whenever the song "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins is played in public, everyone must immediately jump to their feet and dance like an old-fashioned, cow-poking, mid-western white boy who has never ever danced a dance before in his entire life. Violators will be subject to a hefty fine.

Oowhee, Marie, Shake it, shake it for me. Whoa, Milo, c'mon, c'mon let go. Loose, footloose. Everybody cut, everybody cut, footloose!

Down With Pants! in 2006!