The Second Coming

Posted by Brandon |

While sitting in my upper deck seat at Angel Stadium on Monday watching the Minnesota Twins beat the Anaheim Angels I was blown away by a new hairstyle. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get a good picture of it but hopefully from the above photo you can make out the 360 degree spike job that this guy was sporting.

Since moving to California I have seen new hairstyles daily, usually involving spiked hair on little boys. But this guy has taken it to a new level. If you can't really see it, I'll describe it for you. His hair is combed down from the middle all the way around. Then with about half an inch or maybe even an inch left he got out the product and gave it an 80-90 degree spike all the way around his head. Even in the back.

All I could think of was this guy woke up and wanted to wear a straw hat but didn't own one so he just created one for himself. Then I started thinking about the lily-white Anaheim crowd around me and how they seemed very Republican and overtly religious and then it hit me. This kid is a Jesus freak trying to replicate the crown of thorns! It wasn't enough for him to wear a t-shirt like most of the other Jesus freak kids do down here. He had to rock the crown of thorns hairstyle too.

Well, kudos I guess go out to this guy. It's definitely a unique hairstyle that must take a lot of patience and work each morning. Or maybe it's a miracle. Every morning he wakes up and his hair just styles itself that way. He wipes away a little bit of blood running down his face and goes about his day.

Is this guy the second coming? Is Armageddon near? Is it starting in the cheap seats at an Angels game? Either way, I think this hairstyle signals the coming of the end for our fair civilization. Blessed be the gel users.