DOWN WITH PANTS!

I'm stealing this little meme from RW....

List your Presidential votes, or non-votes, the candidate's party, explain why you voted that way in no more than four words, and list the guy who eventually won....

1996 - Bill Clinton (Democrat) - I dig his style - Clinton
2000 - Ralph Nader (Green) - Washington was solidly Democrat - Bush
2004 - John Kerry (Democrat) - Bush sucks so much - Bush
2008 - Barack Obama (Democrat) - Calm, cool, smart, ears - ???

So I'm one for three so far. A cool .333 batting average and a hall of fame candidate in baseball, fuck all in politics.

Two of my presidential votes don't make me very happy. I was in college in 2000 and Nader was a nice little fuck you to some people and since Washington was solidly Democrat, I was safe with that vote. But his insistence to keep going is pissing me off and I have to think that my vote in 2000 had something to do with it.

And though I voted for him, I never really liked Kerry and RW is right, we wouldn't be in that much better of a position with him in office than we are now. But I would never vote for Bush and I wasn't about to vote third party in such an important election.

I've been alive for 31 years now and for only 11 of those years has there been a Democrat in the White House - Carter and Clinton. That has to change. For God's sake, get out and vote on Tuesday and please vote Obama. You know it's the right thing to do.

I am Culture Kills Lion's fantasy football bitch.


If it's hard to read, click the box to bigify
Thanks to Hilly, Cissa, Chris and Tracy for participating. And I decided that since it is my blog, I should include myself. What the heck.

What about you? Are you a steroid popping, homerun hitting, totally mental nut scratcher? I really want to know.

And if you'd like to participate in a future edition of the Blog Culture Box, please leave me a comment saying so.

I am Culture Kills Lion's fantasy football bitch.

Things are getting interesting in the DWP! Fantasy Football League. The top four teams still remain, but there is a big jam up right behind them and people are starting to feel the pressure. Controversy ensues. So on to the the week 8 scores...

Pumpkin Discargers (6-2) - 95 - Drew Brees - 31 points
Honea Express (1-7) - 68 - Eli Manning - 13 points

Pumpkin Discharger's Drew Brees and LaDainian Tomlinson go to London and put up a combined 53 points to give the Honea Express their seventh straight loss. Poor Whit.

Culture Kills Lions (4-4) - 105 - Peyton Manning - 22 points
Down With Pants! (3-5) - 80 - Jason Campbell - 17 points

I actually led going into Monday night, if you can believe it. But Peyton Manning and LenDale White scored 35 points for Culture Kills Lions and dashed my hopes of getting to a respectable 4-4.

Hut Hut Oz (6-2) - 100 - Steve Smith - 23 points
Stop The Clocks (5-3) - 62 - Frank Gore - 15 points

Steve Smith scored 23 and Dallas Clark had 21 to lead Hut Hut Oz over Stop The Clocks in the week's biggest game. Stop The Clocks drops to fourth place while Hut Hut Oz is now tied for second.

Kapgar's Crusaders (8-0) - 99 - Santana Moss - 26 points
CineRobots (2-6) - 59 - Jackson/Slaton - 12 points

Like me, CineRobots knows the pain of an underacheiving Ben Roethlisberger. He's killing us right now. Kapgar keeps rolling despite a lot of players missing on their bye week. 26 points from Santana Moss and another 19 Matt Ryan sure do help.

RW's Cranky Bastards (4-4) - 93 - Kurt Warner - 25 points
sinkintothepacific (4-4) - 67 - Kevin Walter - 19 points

Who, other than RW, knew that Kurt Warner would be such a stud this year? Another 25 point Warner outing leads RW to a rather easy win over sinkintopacific. Both now sit in the jumble at 4-4.

Warped (4-4) - 97 - Brian Westbrook - 32 points
Snackiesonics (1-7) - 38 - Roddy White - 23 points

Brian Westbrook's broken ribs scored 32 points and almost single handedly beat the unset lineup of the Snackiesonics.


Oooo, do we have a doozie on tap for this weekend. Second place is on the line when Hut Hut Oz and Pumpkin Dischargers line it up. Pumpkin Dischargers will be missing a lot of players including LT and Brees while Hut Hut Oz will be without star wide receiver Steve Smith. Should be an interesting battle.

Honea Express is next in line to try to knock off the might Crusaders. Kapgar will still be without Tony Romo, but his replacements - Orton and Ryan - have both played great. He'll also be without his kicker. The Express will be at full strength.

Here's the schedule for week nine...

Kapgar's Crusaders (1) vs. Honea Express (11)
Hut Hut Oz (2) vs. Pumpkin Dischargers (3)
Stop The Clocks (4) vs. DOWN WITH PANTS! (9)
Culture Kills Lions (5) vs. Warped (7)
RW's Cranky Bastards (6) vs. Snackiesonics (12)
sinkintothepacific (8) vs. CineRobots (10)

Bye teams this week: Carolina, San Diego, New Orleans and San Francisco.

It was an absolutely beautiful day here today. A little bit on the cold side, but perfectly clear and comfortable for a walk, so Addie and I took a long one around town. We ended up down at the Edmonds waterfront where we walked all the way out to the end of the fishing pier. When we got there, a group of 25-30 Japanese tourists were having themselves a look around. The next thing I know, Addie and I are surrounded by smiling, waving, admiring tourists - we got a heroes welcome. Addie ate it up and put on a little exhibition in smiling and general cuteness and I played along despite feeling like an animal in the zoo.

I'm pretty sure we had our picture taken by a couple people. I love that Addie and I'll be in some Japanese tourist's Seattle photo album. I hope it's a nice one with a Space Needle and a ferry and Pike Place Market on it.

If any other Japanese tour groups would like to see the great white Godzilla and his super adorable baby, please email me and I'd be happy to set up a tour for your group.

The worst part about voting absentee? Not getting an "I Voted" sticker. No wait, it's the not knowing whether or not you messed the thing up and if it will ever be counted. I get nervous whenever I have to fill an absentee ballot out because I want my vote counted, especially this year.

So who and what did I vote for? I vote in California, so I got to vote on a couple of doozies. Here's some highlights...

President - Barack Obama - Duh. To quote Sarah Silverman, "if you vote for McCain, to me you're a shit stain."

California Proposition 2 - Yes - This proposition is all about the chicken. Basically, if passed, chicken farms have to go cage free. I thought that the LA Times had a valid reason to vote no: they said that if passed, it would mean that California would start importing cheaper eggs from other states and that California eggs wouldn't be able to compete. Since I have no loyalty towards California I say hell yeah! Inhumane Washington eggs are going to tear that market up!

California Proposition 3 - Yes - Money for children's hospitals. I voted yes, although I'm tired of all these mooching sick kids already. Kidding.

California Proposition 4 - A big fat fucking NO - "Amends the state Constitution to require a physician to notify a minor patient's parent or other adult family member 48 hours before performing an abortion." A vote yes on this means that you are for pregnant teenage girls going without prenatal care for virtually their entire pregnancy as they hide it from their family, or for them going across the border or getting a back alley abortion somewhere, or their suicide. Plain and simple.

California Proposition 8 - Another big fat fucking NO - This is not how you should start out any proposition: "Eliminates Rights". I will vote no on virtually anything that starts out with "Eliminates Rights". Prop 8 is a constitutional amendment that eliminates the rights of same-sex couples to marry. Uh, No. Not going to happen here. I believe strongly that my gay and lesbian friends are not a second-class group of citizens and that they should have the exact same rights as my hetero ass. The. Exact. Same. Rights. Vote yes on this proposition and you are dead to me. Seriously.

California Propostion 12 - Yes - Damn mooching veterans and their home loans.

I am sad to be missing out on the big Dino Rossi/Chris Gregoire governor bukkake here in Washington, but it's worth it to vote NO on Prop 8 in California. But I strongly encourage Washington voters to keep that slimeball Rossi as far away from Olympia as possible.

So now it's time to starting planning my election night fun. Anybody having a party? I'm planning on getting tanked that night regardless of what happens. It's either hardcore celebration and dancing in the streets or crying in my beer and possible looting. I really don't want to have to turn over a cop car this year. Once is enough.

Thanks to Kapgar, Jester, Jesse and Whall for their help in the first Blog Culture Box. Sorry to Juanita, I screwed up and had one more person than I needed. We'll get you in next time.

If you would like to participate in the next Blog Culture Box Wednesday, please leave a comment saying you want to play and I'll send you a few questions next week.

What about you? Are you a sexy jackhammering Jordan fan on a schooner? I know you are...

Last night the Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays finally finished off the Boston Red Sox for the franchise's first appearance in the World Series. As a fan of all things underdog and because I'm sick of the Boston faithful (they have become worse than Yankee fans), I'm excited to see the Rays and will be rooting for them to beat up on the Philadelphia Phillies when the series starts on Wednesday.

That being said, the Rays appearance in the World Series reminds me that being a Seattle Mariners fan is a really pathetic experience. 31 years of futility, of not even being close to the World Series, and really no hope anytime soon. It's a sad, almost depressing team to support and with the Rays appearance in the World Series, there are now only three Major League Baseball teams that haven't been there: the Texas Rangers, the Washington Nationals (ex-Montreal Expos) and my very own Seattle Mariners. What a joke.

The Mariners debuted in 1977 (coincidentally or not, the year I was born) and went 14 years before posting a winning record and really didn't achieve success until 1995. That was a magical, beautiful season that ended with them basically giving up in the ALCS when they were overmatched by the Cleveland Indians. No World Series for us. Then in 2001, the M's won an MLB record 116 games but lost in the ALCS to the New York Yankees, four games to one. The best team in Mariners history, hell, the winningest team in baseball history and we got nothing to show for it. Since that steroid fueled season, the M's have been ugly and the franchise has seen a massive depletion in talent throughout and it's going to be a long, long time until they are good again.

In the time that the Mariners have been around, five other franchises have come into existence: The Toronto Blue Jays (1977), the Florida Marlins and Colorado Rockies (1993) and the Arizona Diamondbacks and Tampa Bay Devil Rays (1998). And in that time, all of them have appeared in the World Series. In fact, the Diamondbacks have won one World Series and the Blue Jays and the Marlins have each won two. Let me say that again. The Florida Fucking Marlins, A team that has no fans, has the shittiest ballpark in MLB and may cease to exist in a few years have won two World Series. The Mariners...zilch.

The only teams that are even close to the Mariners in patheticness are the Texas Rangers and the Chicago Cubs. The Rangers are so bad that since they were first founded as the Washington Senators in 1961, they have never even won a playoff series. Other than a couple Nolan Ryan no-hitters, they have given their fans nothing to be proud of. I'll have to admit, to be a Rangers fan is probably worse than being a Mariners fan. Even if they were good, you'd still be in Texas, a fate I wouldn't give for any World Series appearances.

And we all know about the Cubs, but at least they have been to a World Series and even won, albeit 100 years ago. Plus there are a ton of other distractions in Chicago to take your mind off of how bad the Cubs are. Here, especially with the failures of the Seahawks and the Huskies and the departure of the Sonics, we don't have much in the way of sports to distract us from the Mariners.

The Mariners are so pathetic, that even when you root for them to do bad, like a lot of us were at the end of this season so that they could get the #1 draft pick next year, they put together some wins to give them the second worst record in the Majors and the #2 pick.

As an M's fan, you can't win. It's impossible. I'm not even totally sure why I continue to try. But they've been my team since I was born, they are my team now and they will always be my team. Some year it will pay off, I hope. But watching putrid franchises like the Colorado Rockies, Tampa Bay Rays, Florida Marlins and even, probably before my M's, the Texas Rangers (at least they have some studs now), makes watching the World Series hurt more and more every year.

So enjoy it Tampa Bay fans, even though you just discovered the Major League Baseball team in your backyard, you're now an even less pathetic bunch than we are.

I am Sink Into The Pacific's fantasy football bitch.

I love this song by Hayes Carll, one of my new all-time favorites...


Amen.

I am Sink Into The Pacific's fantasy football bitch.

Southern California Edison is fucking with me and it's costing them a fortune.

After we moved from Ventura, we paid our last bill in full. All $40 or whatever of it. A couple weeks later we got another bill....for 21 cents. We totally forgot about it and a couple weeks later got a bill for 27 cents. Damn late fees.

So at the beginning of this month, I paid the bill. I wrote a check for 27 fucking cents hoping that we'd never ever ever ever have to hear from Southern California Edison ever again. Stupid bastards.

Yesterday we received what looked like yet another bill from them. Totally exasperated, we opened the envelope up to find out that we overpaid them. We now have a credit with Southern California Edison for six cents. Glory be! But here's the shit, to claim our six cents, we have to mail them back a form and then they will send us a check.

Let's review. They sent me a bill for 21 cents. The postage on that bill was 38 cents. I forgot to pay it so they sent me another bill for 27 cents. The postage on that bill was another 38 cents. I paid their 27 cent bill and affixed postage for 38 cents. They then sent me a credit for six cents paying another 38 cents in postage. To claim my six cents, I have to pay 38 cents in postage and then they'll send me a check in an envelope that need 38 cents of postage.

So if I claim my six cents...

I think I'll do it on sheer principle. I think SoCal Edison deserves to lose $1.46 claiming 21 cents after we thought we had paid off our entire bill. Plus, I come from a long line of postmen so I'm happy to see the Post Office profitting from the greediness and stupidity of corporate America.

I am Sink Into The Pacific's fantasy football bitch.

Welcome to the first (and last) Down With Pants! Presidential Debate live chat. It should be self-explanatory. Just put in an alias and start chatting away. Enjoy!

UPDATE - Thanks to everybody who came over and chatted with us tonight. If you would like to read the full archived transcript of the chat, and there were some pretty funny moments, click here.

I only wish I would've done this for the first two debates.

I am Sink Into The Pacific's fantasy football bitch.

No surprises in week six. All the favored teams picked up wins and now it really feels like there is a big difference between the top three or four teams and everybody else. Anyway, here's the week six scores...

Pumpkin Discargers (5-1) - 79 - Drew Brees - 30 points
CineRobots (1-5) - 73 - Vincent Jackson - 19 points

If it wasn't for an injury to CineRobots' Joseph Addai, we easily could've had the biggest upset of the season. To put it bluntly, Pumpkin Dischargers got very lucky this week. Addai's injury and 30 points out of Drew Brees are the only things that kept him at 5-1. CineRobot got 19 points out of Vincent Jackson on Sunday night to close the gap to only six points.

Stop The Clocks (4-2) - 75 - Andre Johnson - 21 points
Culture Kills Lions (2-4) - 72 - Ronnie Brown - 15 points

Stop The Clocks got double digits from only two players, Andre Johnson (21) and Frank Gore (17) but it turned out to barely be enough to beat Culture Kills Lions 75-72. The Lions were led by Ronnie Brown's 15 points and Patrick Crayton's 14 points. The biggest difference in this game: Who knew Baltimore's defense would get so thoroughly trounced?

Hut Hut Oz (5-1) - 106 - Clinton Portis - 25 points
Snackiesonics (1-5) - 58 - Roddy White - 17 points

Snackiesonics' running backs: 0 points. Hut Hut Oz's running backs: 43 points. 'Nuff said.

Kapgar's Crusaders (6-0) - 86 - Tony Romo - 28 points
Warped (3-3) - 81 - Correll Buckhalter - 23 points

It was much, much closer than Kapgar wanted, but behind 28 points from Tony Romo and 16 from Matt Forte, the Crusaders continue their six game winning streak to start the season. But it came at a price: Tony Romo is out four weeks with a broken finger. Ouch! Warped got 23 points out of mid-week pickup Correll Buckhalter. Nice move.

sinkintothepacific (3-3) - 86 - Aaron Rodgers - 26 points
Down With Pants! (2-4) - 80 - Steve Breaston - 16 points

I should've known that I would lose when I saw that Aaron Rodgers was playing the embarrassingly bad Seattle Seahawks defense. Sure enough, Rodgers scored 26 points and I lost by 23. I just want to thank Snackiesonics for not setting her lineup or picking up players, because if it wasn't for her, my team would be the league's lowest scoring squad. What a joke.

RW's Cranky Bastards (3-3) - 95 - Braylon Edwards - 23 points
Honea Express (1-5) - 63 - Maurice Jones-Drew - 26 points

Braylon Edwards finally came through for RW scoring 23 points to lead the Cranky Bastards to an easy 95-63 victory over Honea Express. Marion Barber contributed 22 points and the surprising Kurt Warner added another 17 to the blowout. The Express got 26 from Maurice Jones-Drew...and that's about it to extend his losing streak to five games.


So RW and Kapgar are facing each other this week and it's a great illustration into why fantasy football can really mess with real life. Both are from Chicago. Kapgar will be playing three Bears against RW, so RW has to root against the Bears players, and probably the Bears themselves, if he wants to win. Kapgar has Adrian Peterson, who is playing the Bears, so he has to root for Peterson to run all over the Bears. How confounding, how confusing, how frustrating, I'm sure.

Best game of the week pits Pumpkin Dischargers against Stop The Clocks. Worst game - DWP! vs. Snackiesonics. Yuck! CineRobots versus Honea Express isn't that much better though

Here's the schedule for week seven...

Kapgar's Crusaders (1) vs. RW's Cranky Bastards (6)
Hut Hut Oz (2) vs. Culture Kills Lions (8)
Pumpkin Dischargers (3) vs. Stop The Clocks (4)
Warped (5) vs. sinkintothepacific (7)
Down With Pants! (9) vs. Snackiesonics (12)
CineRobots (10) vs. Honea Express (11)

Bye teams this week: Atlanta, Philly, Arizona and Jacksonville.

I am Kapgar's fantasy football bitch. You're welcome Kapgar, enjoy it while you can.

Late last year, I made a discovery that changed my life. OK, that's a little strong, but Bacon Salt is so damn good, I put it on nearly everything and recommend it to anybody that will listen. And I'm still blown away by the idea and how the two guys that started the company and an amazing amount of viral marketing have taken it to the level that it is at today.

And it just keeps getting better. On October 30th, the Bacon Salt guys are introducing their newest genius product, Baconnaise. Damn, doesn't that sound good? I love mayonnaise, I love bacon, how can I not love Baconnaise? Hell, I already put Bacon Salt on my sandwiches, this will be so much easier.

And what better way to celebrate the launch of Baconnaise than mayonnaise wrestling (click on the poster to bigify)...


That's right, mayonnaise wrestling. 200 gallons of mayonnaise, to be exact. Yikes!

So if you are in Seattle, head on down to Heaven's Night Club for free BLT's, a mayo to Baconnaise exchange, mayo wrestling and music with all proceeds going to a good cause.

Hell yeah!

I am Kapgar's fantasy football bitch.

It shouldn't come as a surprise, but after minutes of careful consideration (the amount of time it took Barack Obama to deliver his speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention.)Down With Pants! is whole heartedly endorsing Barack Obama for president. In fact, I've even updated my banner to reflect my support (see above), and I've created my own campaign poster...


Feel free to steal it and plaster it wherever you would like (and yes, I know it's not super high quality).

Down With Pants! Up With Obama!

I was heading to bed, but I felt like I needed to read at least one essay out of the great NPR book This I Believe to put me in better spirits before heading off to sleep. And I'm so glad that I did because the first one that I read was Oscar Hammerstein II's "Happy Talk" - originally published in the 1950's, but still very relevant and very much in line with me, someone that tries to be unhappy - I'm a blogger, twitterer, etc. It's my duty to be unhappy, right? But I just can't do it. I am also a happy man who also thinks it's important to announce it to the world.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy Oscar Hammerstein II's "Happy Talk" as much as I did. I felt like it's a good message to share today...

"I have an unusual statement to make. I am a man who believes he is happy. What makes it unusual is that a man who is happy seldom tells anyone. The unhappy man is more communicative. He is eager to recite what is wrong with the world, and he seems to have a talent for gathering a large audience. It is a modern tragedy that despair has so many spokesmen, and hope so few.

I believe, therefore, that it is important for a man to announce that he is happy even though such an announcement is less dramatic and less entertaining than the cries of his pessimistic opposite. Why do I believe I am happy? Death has deprived me of many whom I loved. Dismal failure has followed many of my most earnest efforts. People have disappointed me. I have disappointed them. I have disappointed myself.

Further than this, I am aware that I live under a cloud of international hysteria. The cloud could burst, and a rain of atom bombs could destroy millions of lives, including my own. From all this evidence, could I not build up a strong case to prove why I am not happy at all? I could, but it would be a false picture, as false as if I were to describe a tree only as it looks in winter. I would be leaving out a list of people I love, who have not died. I would be leaving out an acknowledgment of the many successes that have sprouted among my many failures. I would be leaving out the blessing of good health, the joy of walking in the sunshine. I would be leaving out my faith that the goodness in man will triumph eventually over the evil that causes war.

All these things are as much a part of my world as the darker worries that shade them. The conflict of good and bad merges in thick entanglement. You cannot isolate virtue and beauty and success and laughter, and keep them from all contact with wickedness and ugliness and failure and weeping. The man who strives for such isolated joy is riding for a fall. He will wind up in isolated gloom.

I don’t believe anyone can enjoy living in this world unless he can accept its imperfection. He must know and admit that he is imperfect, that all other mortals are imperfect, that it is childish to allow these imperfections to destroy all his hope and all his desire to live. Nature is older than man, and she is still far from perfect. Her summers do not always start promptly on June 21st. Her bugs and beetles and other insects often go beyond her obvious intentions, devouring the leaves and buds with which she has adorned her countryside. After the land has remained too dry for too long, she sends relieving rains. But frequently they come in torrents so violent that they do more harm than good. Over the years, however, nature keeps going on in her imperfect way, and the result—in spite of her many mistakes—is a continuing miracle. It would be folly for an individual to seek to do better—to do better than to go on in his own imperfect way, making his mistakes, riding out the rough and bewildering, exciting and beautiful, storm of life until the day he dies."

I am Kapgar's fantasy football bitch.

I know that you all have missed the DWP! Fantasy Football league recap that has been absent the last couple weeks. I was sick one week and then the next I thought that I shouldn't mess with a good thing since I got a win after not posting, so I didn't do one. But now that I've lost, I know that not posting isn't going to help me win. So without further ado, here's your week 5 update...

Pumpkin Discargers (4-1) - 112 - Panthers Defense - 19 points
Culture Kills Lions (2-3) - 66 - Peyton Manning - 19 points

The Pumpkin Dischargers continue to roll along through the DWP! Fantasy Football league early season knocking off former champion Culture Kills Lions by 46 points. Ouch. The Dischargers got double digits from seven of nine players including 19 from the Panthers defense - you gotta love a shutout - and 16 from Devery Henderson. The Lions, on the other hand, had only two players in double digits - Peyton Manning (19) and Ronnie Brown (18).

Stop The Clocks (3-2) - 78 - Andre Johnson - 19 points
Snackiesonics (1-4) - 61 -Roddy White - 19 points

Despite losing his starting quarterback early in the game, Stop The Clocks racked up a relatively easy win over the struggling Snackiesonics 78-61. Andre Johnson led the way with 19 and Hines Ward added 15 en route to the victory. Snackiesonics got 19 from Roddy White and 12 from the New England quarterback not named Brady but that was pretty much it.

Hut Hut Oz (4-1) - 110 - Clinton Portis - 21 points
sinkintothepacific (2-3) - 53 - Lee Evans - 18 points

Another first year DWP! player continues to roll. Hut Hut Oz got big days out of Clinton Portis (21) and Reggie Bush (18) en route to a 57 point victory. Poor sinkintothepacific, it was a rough week with only Lee Evans and his kicker scoring meaningful points.

Kapgar's Crusaders (5-0) - 93 - Tony Romo - 26 points
Down With Pants! (2-3) - 80 - Terrell Owens - 20 points

Kapgar got nothing out of Santana Moss, Miles Austin and only three points out of his big stud Adrian Peterson and still kicked my butt to continue his early season unbeaten streak. My team performed better than I had expected them to, but they still came up short mainly because I never play the right players.

CineRobots (1-4) - 112 - Steve Slaton - 21 points
RW's Cranky Bastards (2-3) - 69 - Rivers/McClain - 12 points

Hey hey! CineRobots finally gets on the board with a win. And not just any win, a league high score and a 43 point margin. Steve Slaton led the way with 21 points and boy am I glad, I really didn't want to type the name Housh....whatever and his 20 points. The Cranky Bastards got 12 from Phillip Rivers and a backup running back.

Warped (3-2) - 102 - Brandon Jacobs -25 points
Honea Express (1-4) - 82 - Eli Manning - 22 points

Brandon Jacobs ran all over the sorry Seahawks defense to lead defending Super Bowl champ Warped to a 102 - 82 victory over the hard luck Honea Express. Warped got 19 from JT O'Sullivan and 17 from Larry Fitzgerald in the win. Eli Manning still managed to score 22 points for Honea Express even though the Giants didn't need to throw anymore once they were up 38 points. Sorry ass Seahawks.


Can anybody stop Kapgar's Crusaders? This week, Warped will give it his best shot. Good luck. Here are all the week six games...

Kapgar's Crusaders (1) vs. Warped (4)
Hut Hut Oz (2) vs. Snackiesonics (12)
Pumpkin Dischargers (3) vs. Cinerobots (10)
Stop The Clocks (5) vs. Culture Kills Lions (6)
RW's Cranky Bastards (7) vs. Honea Express (11)
Down With Pants! (8) vs. sinkintothepacific (9)

Don't forget, there are teams on a bye this week. Buffalo, Tennessee, Kansas City and Pittsburgh. Please set your lineups accordingly. And don't give up, we've still got a long way to go.

Splash Addie, Splash! from Brandon on Vimeo.

A trip to the Seattle Aquarium with fish and sea mammals and all that good stuff everywhere, and the best thing all day is some water on the table. Figures.

1. Death? took exception to last night's post and she couldn't be more right. She has a storage area for the little things, it's just that the little things that she's wired to store are totally different than what I store. She stores little things about people she's met or seen. I store little things about, say...baseball or college gymnasiums. The problem is, that's all I store. She stores all those little things, all the knowledge she needs to be a doctor, and TONS of other super important things that keeps this household running. It's true, I probably would be fucked without her.

2. After the debate tonight, CBS talked to undecided voters they found at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas (a red flag itself) about who they thought won the debate. This one lady said she thought Palin had won because "she seemed like she could've been one of us up there." Umm...that should be a reason that she lost the debate, don't you think? I don't want one of us up there running for vice president because let's be honest, we'd all be totally shitty vice presidents. I'd be the worst vice president EVER.

I couldn't be more sick and tired of people wanting their president or vice president or representatives or whatever to be like them. I want my president and my VP to be the smartest people that I've ever met. I want them to have gone to the best schools and colleges in the country and I sure as shit don't want them to come from the community college system. I want them to not want to have a beer with me because I wouldn't challenge them intellectually.

Sadly though, this is a very common theme these days and Sarah Palin was chosen specifically to capitalize on this idiotic market. Let's face it folks, we aren't that far away from electing President Camacho.

The other day I tried to describe to Death? (my wife for your newbies) where a certain restaurant was by telling her that it was next to "that bar, Harvey's" knowing full well that the other day we had driven by Harvey's and talked about how crazy it looked. Her response? "I have no idea where Harvey's is, I've never heard of it." I rolled my eyes and tried to help her remember the place, but I couldn't get anything. It was completely gone from her memory.

This kind of thing happens all the time with us. She never remembers little details like Harvey's Tavern or the Kings School stickers on cars in the area or whatever. And it always frustrates me. I always can't believe that she would forget these things when we just talked about them or I would get offended because I think she wasn't really listening to what I was saying at the time. But just the other day I finally figured out why she never remembers and it has allowed me to finally come to terms with this difference.

My mind is filled to the brim with maps, directions, landmarks, pop culture references, sports trivia, music and other general minutia. I've never really filled it with anything important and there is still plenty of room for more and more garbage that doesn't take up much space.

Death? on the other hand is a doctor. She went to school and trained for over ten years to save people's lives. Her brain is filled with really important shit and big time minutia like Harvey's Tavern typically gets crushed by something slighty more important, like, say...how to deliver a baby.

I've come to realize that a big part of my role in our relationship is to be the maps, trivia, minutia storage space. So even though she still probably has no idea where Harvey's is despite going to Kafe Neo next door just the other day, she doesn't need to remember. She's got me, the guy that can get her to just about anywhere in the entire state allowing her to store even more important doctoring knowledge away for future use. And I've got her to save the lives of my opponents when I give them a savage beat down in a cutthroat game of Trivial Pursuit.

Yeah, I'd say we make a pretty good team.