Top Chef Recap **SPOILER ALERT**

Posted by Brandon |

I have one word to describe this episode....Titacular.

Good god Natasha Richardson! Tuck those things in. And with all of her tans lines, she looked like an 70's or 80's era Playboy model (NSFW). I once read somewhere that strippers used to do the tan line thing so that when they got naked and you saw the difference between their normal bits and their naughty bits, it made it even more exciting because guys really thought they were seeing something they shouldn't be seeing. That's kind of how I felt about Natasha Richardson tonight, though I just found it distracting and a little strange as opposed to exciting. Not that she's not attractive, but it was just out of place...

My other word for tonight is...suckfest.

What a disaster some of that food was. Deviled eggs? I love deviled eggs, but even I can make deviled eggs and I'm sure I could spice them up with some little fancy ingredients in a few minutes. The only way she could've won me over with that dish is if one of her secret ingredients was Baconnaise and she made it with that.

And miss bangs - whatever her name is - how is she still there? I'm starting to think that she's the first episode fall guy (I have a theory that they throw out a sacrificial lamb for the first episode just to go down in flames and spare one of the good chefs the indignity) that got lucky even though she has no taste and can't cook.

I want to think that Gene is just going through a rough patch and he'll turn it around pretty soon, but I'm starting to think his restaurant learnin' is going to kill him. On Top Chef, you can't do some of the restaurant tricks that easily slide by novice eaters like cornstarch in a stew or salvaging shitty rice. Those are the kind of things that make restaurant owners love you but makes Martha Stewart cringe.

I'm glad they didn't kick anybody off and I'm really looking forward to the next episode where they are all let loose in the kitchen to do whatever they want. That should be interesting.

And can I tell you how happy I am that Martha Stewart was only on for a few minutes? Thank god.

Screencap of Natasha Richardson's boobies stolen from Adoring Natasha


Sizzle said...

Totally Titacular (love that!) indeed. I wish they had sent bangs or gene home. They both need to get new taste buds or something. And I think Jamie might pummel Arianne soon.

Brandon said...

Sizzle - Every time I hear Jamie complain, I yell - "DO BETTER!" Arianne is kicking her butt right now and I almost have to think she's the frontrunner, which is strange.

Becky said...

Those twins were coming out to party the other night.

Eugene just had the typical Hawaii male 'tude (I grew up there) and he needs to get rid of it or he won't last much longer.

I get tired of listening to them say "I know my food is good, I don't understand" and it's not always that their food isn't good -- it's that they're competing against each other so that means someone else's is better. I was glad when that one guest judge pointed out to Eugene (I think) that it wasn't just the judges that voted, but everyone at the event. Perhaps it might be him?