Shameless Cross Promotion

Posted by Brandon |

We had a party today for Death?'s work. Somehow we managed to squeeze 35 people into our little apartment. Having to push past people, it felt like an old fashioned college party for a little while there.

Anyway, after cleaning up and whatnot, I don't have much energy to write a whole new post. So instead I bring you my two latest Yelp reviews, two that I'm pretty fond of. Check out all of my Yelping here.

California Pizza Kitchen - Ventura, CA

I've had hit or miss experiences with California Pizza Kitchen since I've been occasionally eating there for the last couple years. The first time I went, I loved it. The next time I went, it was bad. Then the next time was good, then not so good, and that pattern kept going until it finally leveled off at an average three stars. Here's a handy-dandy visual aid to illustrate this phenomena....

So what are the reasons for this strange looking diagram? Here's what I think is the deal:

The first time I ever ate at CPK I had very low expectations. It's a pizza place in a mall, how good could it be? So I ordered the California Club pizza and it hit me, something that I had never experienced in all of my wide and varied pizza eating days....Frigging mayonnaise tossed lettuce! Holy crap. Where have you been all my life? If I ever open my own pizza place, that's immediately going on the menu as an option.

On my next visit, riding the high of the first time, I branched out and tried some different things including their overpriced and rather small appetizers. Unfortunately, I was thoroughly disappointed. It was also then that I realized that they charge you $3 for soda that typically only gets refilled once. Soda cheapo restaurants bother me to no end.

But I gave it another chance and stuck with the Club pizza and again enjoyed it. My only variation was trying their soup. Both the tortilla soup and the corn chowder are very good and despite being unnecessarily expensive, I usually get a cup of one or the other every time I go.

But I've repeated this pattern of satisfaction and disappointment over and over again until now the highs aren't as high and the lows aren't as low. You would think that I would've learned my lesson by now, but I still go in and see something new that catches my attention that I just have to try. Our last visit it was Mango Tandoori pizza, and while it was decent, it just can't compare to either their Club or BLT pizzas with mayonnaise tossed lettuce.

Mmmm....Mayonnaise tossed lettuce.

Vons - Camarillo, CA

There should be a sign near this Vons somewhere warning you of the danger that you put yourself in when entering what I like to call The Leisure Zone.

For this is the closest supermarket to the retirement community Leisure Village and during the lunch hour, when I run there to pick up either a soup for lunch or some general groceries, it is usually overrun with retirees driving their land yachts in defiance of God taking away their eyesight, slowly limping through the crosswalk, using every coupon imaginable, struggling with the concept of the club card, writing checks, berating whippersnappers and generally making life rough for anybody under 75.

Seriously, I hate to stereotype anybody, even old people, but all of the old people stereotypes are on display here on any given day. I have seen some absolutely crazy stuff happen at this Vons at the hands of Leisure Villagers that I have never seen anywhere else. There are times when I think it would be safer to sit in the middle of La Colonia with a big "Chiques Suck" sign (or the equivalent in Spanish) than risk grabbing some jo-jos for lunch.

Let this serve as your only warning...Enter at your own risk.

(Other than that, it's a pretty average Vons, hence the three stars)


Hilly said...

The thing I've noticed about CPK is that if I order the same exact thing that I love (like you), it is always good...but I don't go beyond that bubble. Those asses took away my favorite salad though so now I don't go very much!

CP said...

Mayonnaise tossed lettuce - There is something strangely perverse about this. I can't figure it out, but it made me blush.