11/11/2007

A Day in the Life of Trixie and Billy

Posted by Brandon |

My neighbors, Trixie and Billy, had a very bi-polar kind of day. Join with me in their adventure, won't you?

7:30 AM - Fuck. Fuck loudly. Fuck so loudly that you wake up your upstairs neighbor prompting him to wrap his head in a pillow and turn on his clock radio.

8:00 AM - Disappear. Church?

10:00 AM - This is totally a guess, but after fucking and church, it's time for drinking beer and watching football.

6:00 PM - Come home and make dinner. Listen to Matchbox 20 unbelievably loud while cooking. Drink wine, drunkenly dance around and sing at the top of lungs to "Real World" and "Push" (a kind of ironic choice given what happens later).

7:00 PM - Eat dinner, drink wine, watch a weird movie.

9:00 PM - Jekyll and Hyde emerge. Fight! Fight! Complete with "You don't love me, no I love you" psychobabble. Guy yells, bitch growls, doors slam, moody smoking ensues outside. Rinse and repeat four or five times over the next hour.

10:00 PM - Time for bed to get ready for a another day filled with fucking, fighting, smoking, singing, dancing and generally being pure, white trash.

P.S...Some of you have asked, "why don't we move?" It's a fair question, for sure. But our apartment is nice, it's cheap and it's entertaining. Plus, and this is why I'm counting down the days until we leave Ventura, wherever we move, there is a very good chance that we will have neighbors that do the exact same thing, maybe even worse. Sometimes I think we actually have it good.

3 comments:

Whit said...

I think Bill and Trixie had a pretty full day. I'm a bit jealous.

Hilly said...

It's like a Sublime song...

"Fucking, fighting..it's all the same"

DutchBitch said...

The 8.00 a.m. thing is probably fucking in the graveyard... Church, hahahahaha!!! No way!

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