Kittitas County Police Blotter #2

Posted by Brandon |

It was a busy week at Kittcomm. Here are the top ten pains in the asses that they had to deal with this week. Cheers to the Daily Record for printing the area's police blotter, I really appreciate it. Someday I'll tie all of these together and create the Great Kittitas County Novel.

10. A horse with a saddle arrived at a Teanaway Road residence, but the caller was worried about the rider who could have been injured nearby.

9. A caller reportedly found scuba gear on the side of Huntzinger Road. - Just a little bit of background, Kittitas County is in the middle of the state, nowhere near a body of water that one would scuba dive in.

8. A group of juveniles was reportedly trying to light flowers on fire on Mountain View Avenue. - There really truly isn't anything to do in Kittitas County if you are a kid.

7. Three children under 8 years old were reportedly playing on a bridge on Walnut Street. - Case in point.

6. Several people were reportedly loading items from the Goodwill on Washington Avenue into a vehicle, then stopped and fled after being seen. - How fucking cheap or hillbilly do you have to be to steal from the Goodwill?

5. A mule and rider were reportedly hit by a vehicle on Naneum Road and required aid. - The driver had to have been shocked to see a mule and a rider on Naneum Road. I don't think I've ever seen anyone riding a mule down the street.

4. A man on University Way reportedly tried to choke a person after ripping a fax machine out of the wall.

3. A man was reportedly verbally abusing a person on University Way and hit the side of a building with his head. - What the newspaper doesn't address is whether or not this was the same man from #4.

2. A sheep herding operation on Manastash was reportedly trespassing on private land. - Wait. There are sheep herders that wander the countryside in Washington State? I had no idea.

1. Five people were called in for a verbal argument on Sprague Street - Don't you think that the police have plenty of other crap to deal with. Do they really need to call in people for a verbal argument? Sounds like they just could've drove downtown to see one of those.