DWP! Police Blotter

Posted by Brandon |

My favorite part of any newspaper is the police blotter.

In college, the BG News would print the names of the idiots who got busted and a little bit about what happened. Usually, it was pretty funny, especially if they tried to print the explanation given by the suspect to the police.

When Death? was working in Tonasket, Washington she would clip and save the police blotters from the local newspaper and they were golden. That paper gave you everything that was called into the police, regardless of how meaningless it was. You wouldn't believe what some people call the cops for. It was the best police blotter that I have ever read. If I can find her clippings, I'll share them with you sometime.

But, unfortunately, it seems that the blotter is slowly starting to disappear. My local paper, the Ventura County Star, doesn't print one. The smaller, weekly paper that is printed for the east side of our county prints one, but it only chronicles arrests, most of which are boring and unsatisfying. I'm going to see if I can find a complete blotter for Oxnard and Ventura, because I know that there must be some ridiculous crap that's called in around here.

In the meantime until I can figure out the Oxnard/Ventura blotter, I bring to you the best blotter that I have found online so far. Sometimes blotters are good because they give you a lot of information, but sometimes they are even better when they leave it to the imagination. The following is the ten best items from this week's Kittitas County (Washington) Daily Record police blotter, a blotter that leaves a lot to the imagination...

10. A caller said a vehicle on Main Street had the smell of alcohol. (Was it, perhaps, a beer truck?)

9. Three juveniles reportedly had three cases of beer in an alley just off Main Street.

8. Three juveniles were reported smoking an unknown item on Craig’s Hill. (These three juveniles sure know how to party!)

7. A Thorp Highway resident reportedly heard a vehicle collision, but could not see it.

6. A man’s speaker was reportedly pawned by his ex-wife in Kittitas. (Speaker? As in, one, singular?)

5. An adult man was said to be spraying cars with a hose on First Avenue, causing them to swerve.

4. A landlord on Eighth Avenue reportedly threatened a resident to allow cars from the fair to park in her yard or get rid of her dog.

3. Four people reportedly attempted to break into a Lincoln Street garage in Cle Elum, two were stuck on the roof

2. A man visited a neighbor on Colockum Road to borrow a screw driver and was reportedly told to leave or he would be shot.

1. A man claimed a hotel on Interstate 90 near Ellensburg has been taken over by a gang of criminals because he is not able to get a room.


Peeved Michelle said...

We get the Camarillo Acorn in our driveway for free each week and that has the Camarillo police blotter. It doesn't look like there is one for Ventura, though. The VC Reporter doesn't print the police blotter, does it?