10/25/2005

Let's See If I Can Piss Someone Off Week - Day 2

Posted by Brandon |

Ok, yesterday didn't seem to piss anyone off. Probably because it was too true and very hard to argue with. That's ok, I can deal with it. But it won't happen again. So without further adieu, let's crank it up a bit...

I'm not a racist. I'm not a hate-monger. I'm not an ignorant bastard like a lot of people. But I do hate one group of people. A group of people so foul and so dastardly that I feel that they should be rounded up and sent to an ice covered island and forced to cower in fear on the only inhabitable areas on the entire godforsaken wasteland. Oh wait, they already are there. Ha ha ha, suckers!

That's right, I hate Greenlanders. Fuck those highly foreign aid receiving, coastal living, arctic circle hugging sons of bitches. All 56,000 of those fishy smelling, evangelical Lutheran church going, second largest ice cap having idiots can suck on a polar bear's big toe.

Just because you live on the world's largest island and you were granted full self-government in 1981 and then changed all the place names to native Inuit names in 1997 doesn't mean that you still aren't a bunch of Danish eating pastry monkeys.

So, Greenlanders, take your ice covered, parliamentary democracy within a constitutional monarchy centered in Nuuk governing, krone spending, one TV station watching "green" land, and shove it all the way up there where the sun doesn't shine. That's right, shove it in Savissivik, bitches!

P.S...If you want to do some incredible hate-mongering, I highly recommend the Oxford Atlas of the World. If you hate those fuckers from Kiribati, and I know you do (but I'm not sure why, they have a really pretty flag!), then you need to get this atlas. Really, what have you been waiting for?

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