DOWN WITH PANTS!

Quite a few things are on my mind tonight...

1. The Yankees fucking suck! Alex Rodriguez can kiss my big white ass! I finally root for you suckers and you go and blow it to the damn Angels. Oh how I loathe the Angels. Today on the sports talk station the idiots were at Angels Stadium talking to fans waiting outside and they talked to a lady who brought a picture of her new dog. A Bichon Frise named Halo. Fuck Halo! Fuck purse dogs! And fuck the Angels! Go Sox!

2. Speaking of purse dogs, we went to the Santa Monica pier this weekend and rode the roller coaster and the ferris wheel and played skee ball and whatnot. We witnessed this awful Southern California/Euro-Trash couple (because that's what the style is right now, Euro-Trash, just look at all the men) smuggle their damn purse dog onto the ferris wheel by wrapping it into the guys $500, faux-thrift store jacket nearly smothering the dog to death. I hate these people. Fuck purse dogs! No, no, no...Fuck purse dog owning euro-trash sons-of-bitches.

3. I don't get too many emails, but when I do they typically are incoherent. Especially this one from this douchebag...

Allow me to retort...

Of course this pussy has not yet replied to tell me just what the hell he was talking about. (By the way, I am now sporting a full beard. Maybe I do need a lesson.)

4. While in Santa Monica we discovered the greatest food ever, Cheese on a Stick! Local mall court eatery Hot Dog On A Stick serves either American cheese or pepperjack battered and fried just like a corndog. It's incredible. We also discovered that there is one only a few blocks from our house in the mall. We wish we didn't know that.

5. Speaking of the mall. I hate going to the mall. You know why? Cell phone whores. You can't walk more than five feet without being accosted by these guys. I don't own a cell phone, I don't want one and I sure as hell ain't buying one from somebody whose opening pitch is "hey man, you taken care of?"

6. We saw two movies this weekend: Wallace and Gromit's Curse of the Were-Rabbit and Serenity. Wallace and Gromit was pure genius and tops my list for best animated feature this year. That category at the Oscars should actually be interesting for once. I liked Serenity but I can't say that I'm as gah-gah about it as everyone else.

7. Hooray for Halloween! I found Boo Berries, Count Chocula and Franken Berries at the store this weekend.

I guess that's it. There is something else that has been pissing me off but I can't seem to remember what it is right now. I'm sure I'll think of it soon and you will be the first to know.