I'm A Soccer Outlaw

Posted by Brandon |

I just got back from another Monday night soccer game. We won easily, 7-3 (I think, it wasn't as close as the score even indicates) and I played a lot and I played light years better than I had previously played. Sooner or later, especially if we play that team again later in the season, I'm going to score a goal. I was down there and though I didn't have any shots, I was in the right position to score numerous times. It's going to happen, I can feel it. I've never scored a goal. All I want is to get off the schnide.

After the game, as we were walking off the field and to our cars, we were all verbally accosted by a woman walking her dog. She was belligerently screaming at us about how "she lives right behind the school" and that "the lights are never on after 10:00 PM" and that "there's a noise ordinance" and generally getting into the faces of people that have nothing at all to do with when the game starts and ends. The lady that turns the lights on and off was there and was trying to get her to settle down as was the referee, but she was out of her mind and really giving it to us.

Yeah lady, take your meds. When she accosted me, I told her that we played there two weeks ago and we didn't get off of that field until well after 10:00, but she called me a liar. So either I'm a liar, or she is, or she can't tell time. And even if she's right and it's the first time EVER that the lights have been on after ten, then let it go and hope it doesn't happen again. Make a note and if it does happen again, contact the Greater Seattle Soccer League or at worst, like I dared her to do, call the cops. I'd love to listen in on that 911 call...

PSYCHO BITCH - "Hi, 911? Oh, this is an emergency. There are a bunch of big meanies playing soccer at the Mountlake Terrace High School soccer field right now. You know, the field that existed before I bought my house right next to a high school with athletic fields and lights and whatnot."

911 - "And?"

PSYCHO BITCH - "Well, there's a noise ordinance. It starts at ten."

911 - "And?"

PSYCHO BITCH - "It's 10:20...come arrest them!"

911 - "Ummm...no. Get a grip."

I fucking hate people like her. For one, she doesn't know where to direct her frustrations so she takes it out on people that don't have anything to do with it. What are we supposed to do, turn off the lights at ten in the middle of our game and play silently in the dark? I show up at 8:45 for my game and play till the last whistle. I'm not concerned with no noise ordinance.

Secondly, she has a house that borders the athletic fields of a high school, one that was probably there LONG before she was. The occasional annoyance should be expected. She's lucky the worst that happens is a soccer game that goes 30 minutes past curfew. Have you met any high schoolers lately? They sure are a bunch of little shits.

There was just an article in The Stranger this week about this lady in Ballard that moved into a brand spanking new retirement community that complained because noise was coming from the bars and music venues on the street level across the street, bars that have been open and playing music for 50+ years. What a stupid bitch. And there's a bar in Oxnard that has hosted live music for years and years that a bunch of people that bought brand new vacation condos next door tried to shut down, despite the fact that they are only at their condos every once in a while. This bitching about things you should've considered before buying a home in a certain neighborhood is an epidemic in our society right now and it really pisses me off. It's just another symptom of how stupid and selfish we are now.

Back to the psycho bitch...Mountlake Terrace High School is our home field and we play four or five more games there and all of them are sure to run past ten. I'm hoping she becomes a regular feature at our games. It made the game feel legit, we had a heckler and everything. Now we just need some groupies to fight off.


catherine said...

Congratulations!!! I'm happy you guys won, that rules. You know what's just amazing is how much progress you've made since your first game (only three weeks ago, I'm pretty sure). That is just inspiring, man. Good for you and thanks. I'm working toward getting more fit, here.

Okay, time to knock one into the net! When you do, I will totally brag about you on my (albeit very humble little) blog!


Anonymous said...

Dude... that mountlake terrace soccer field sucks. It's too small. My 7 year old plays on a field bigger than that POS. I would be extatic if that crazy lady got the place shut down.

Why are you writing a bunch of garbage about her anyway... do you think she is going to read your stupid blog? Get a life.