DOWN WITH PANTS!

Blowing your nose kicks ass! I have myself a nice litte cold right now and I have spent a good amount of my day blowing my nose, and it feels so good.

This is relatively new for me. I somehow went most of my life having never blown my nose once. Maybe my mom forced me to do it once in a while, but I never learned how to do it on my own. I was much more for wiping, picking and sniffling. In fact, I have a crease on my nose that came from wiping my nose vertically during my formative years.

I know it sounds gross, but I think almost all kids did this. How many of you really blew their nose as a child? I doubt many. But most of you probably learned how to do it early in your adolescence. I went until I was in college before I learned how to do it.

I had the nastiest cold one time and I was walking to class in one of those zero degree, Bowling Green, Ohio winter days and the snot in my nose literally froze. I could feel it hardening as I walked to class. I got to the building and went to the bathroom and started blowing, and it was one of the most liberating feelings. It was as if a whole new world had opened up for me. Never again would I go through life with a nose full of snot.

I'm still not a pro at it. I have to go to the bathroom every time and look in the mirror while doing it to make sure that I'm not getting snot everywhere, and since I have grown a mustache, it makes it 100 times more difficult. I still don't understand all of the nuances involved in getting a solid blow that will completely clean me out. And I have no idea how people make so much noise doing it.

But at least I'm doing it. Nothing is sadder than an adult wiping his nose on his shirt sleeve. Nothing is more annoying than a sniffler at work. Nothing is worse than feeling like your face is bulging from the pressure. And nothing is worse than a blog post about snot. Sorry!