DOWN WITH PANTS!

My head hurts. I just got smacked upside the head repeatedly with the two ton brick that poses as a message in the movie Crash, the most overrated pile of stinking poo to ever hit the Best Picture category at the Oscars.

I don't understand. Did everybody who has been raving about this film watch the same ham-fisted, overly preachy, painfully predictable, poorly acted, insulting-to-my-intelligence film that I did? I heard many people say that it is a very challenging film. You are right about that. It was very challenging to stop myself from slamming my head into a wall whenever another "coincidence" occured and someone stopped to ponder how we are all connected.

It's so contrived, it's painful. I've never seen another movie go to such lengths to spoon feed a message to it's audience. It doesn't leave anything to the imagination or allow the audience to make any of it's own judgements about the characters. Instead it tells you exactly how you should feel. We are all racist. We are all complex. We are all connected...No shit sherlock?

And the acting. Oh don't even get me started. Brendan Fraser? Brendan Fraser??? You have got to be kidding me. Every single character mopes through the movie with dumbfounded looks on their faces displaying only two emotions, fear and anger. Both of which feel so fake because of how contrived the storyline is. Even a great actor like Don Cheadle can't make me believe in this story.

Only two actors made me believe that their characters possess any true human emotions. Michael Pena as Daniel the Locksmith and Ashlyn Sanchez as his daughter stole the show because their characters are allowed to show an emotion other than fear or anger. In fact they displayed fear, anger, pain, surprise, happiness and love all within one single scene that is riveting because of this wide range of emotions. No other scene in the movie, despite desperately trying, can even come close to how well this scene is acted.

The only thing that I took from Crash is the message that nobody should ever move to Los Angeles. It apparently is the most racist, corrupt and awful place in the world to live. In this respect and only in this respect, Crash hits it's mark.