DOWN WITH PANTS!

One of my new favorite blogs, Assistant Atlas, is currently running the "Poop on Ryan Seacrest's Star" contest. You heard right, Ryan Seacrest has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and sooner or later someone will defecate all over it. Cheers to Assistant Atlas for spearheading this noble cause.

However, we must not focus too much on that no talent assclown Ryan Seacrest and remember that there are plenty of other douchebag celebrities wasting good sidewalk space in Hollywood. And that is why today I announce the first annual DWP! "Fake Poop on E. Powers Biggs' Star" contest.

That's right, you too could become uber famous by fake pooping right on top of E. Powers Biggs' star. The first person to email me a picture of themselves pretending to poop on his star and then leaving some fake doo (or whatever you want to do, I just don't want any pictures of people really taking a poo on his star) will receive something from my vast collection of fun Archie McPhee goodies.

I mean seriously, this guy has been hogging the sidewalk too long. Just because he studied at the Royal Academy of Music, taught at the Longy School and the Peabody Conservatory, became the most noted classical organist of the 20th century and was influential in bringing the pipe organ back to prominence in the '40's and '50's doesn't mean that he should have a star while people like Star Jones or Rob and Amber have to go without.

So getyour ass down to 6522 Hollywood Boulevard today and fake defecate away. Send your pictures to downwithpants@gmail.com and get ready to become ridiculously super duper famous because you won the first annual DWP! "Fake Poop on E. Powers Biggs' Star" contest.

I wonder if this will get me on Celebrity Justice too!