The Fatty and Four Eyes Sports Report

Posted by Brandon |

My actual real life friend, John, wants to join the blogosphere and start a sports blog with me. We talked about it a little bit tonight and decided we're going to do it, so now we need a name. In a flash of memory and brilliance, I know exactly where we need to go with this.

It was anywhere from 1998-2001, not sure exactly when, we were at the Tacoma Dome for a Tacoma Sabercats hockey game. There was a fight, there were some penalties, there was some other ugliness and all that other good stuff that goes along with hockey and it all had to do with one player. So being the fine upstanding young men that we were, and probably fueled by a little bit of alcohol, we decided to head down to where the players from the opposing team came out of their locker room and do a little spirited heckling of the offending player.

So as he came back to the ice, we gave him the business as any good hockey fan should. As he came closer and closer, he locked eyes with us, listening to every word we said. As he passed us, he came up with this very clever and witty retort said in an unmistakable Russian accent:

"Shut up Fatty and four eyes"

It definitely shut us up...until we starting laughing our asses off. Fatty and four eyes? Oh, it was too perfect. He couldn't have described us better. Zing!

So there you go. Our blog has to incorporate the infamous Fatty and Four Eyes slam into the title. It's a sign from Don Cherry himself.

What I still don't understand is this...his name was something really Canadian like Matthew Campbell. Fucker was definitely not Russian. Son of a bitch wasn't even French Canadian let alone Russian. Where did that accent come from anyway?

On another note: I miss the Tacoma Sabercats. I think I'll wear my badass 'Cats jersey tomorrow.

UPDATE 11/21 - Shut Up Fatty and Four Eyes is a go!


Your Mom said...

Okay that really made me laugh - I even read it to your grandma and she got a good laugh out of it too. As you know I am not a sports fan but even I would like to read The Fatty and Four Eyes Sport Report.

Joe Urvina said...

The Fatty and Four Eyes Sport Report-
Sign me up....

Whit said...

Which one were you?

Brandon said...

Mom - Maybe we'll turn you into a sports fan!

Joe - Glad to have you on board.

Whit - I should've specified, huh? Let me put it this way - I have perfect eyesight.

Becky said...

That's a great name -- only men would call themselves "fatty" to the public eye :)