Thursday to Saturday

Posted by Brandon |

Jury duty was easy. I just sat in a room, read half of Youth In Revolt and got out by 3:00 PM. I Didn't even get called.

We tried to play soccer on Thursday night, but Death? and I were the only ones who showed. Even the organizers didn't turn up. No email, no call, no nothing. Oh well.

Thursday night I downloaded a couple 90's alterna-pop-rock tunes but I am still longing for more. I downloaded...

Matthew Sweet - Sick of Myself - I forgot how much I liked his music. Must have more.
Temple of the Dog - Hunger Strike - Great car sing-a-long tune.
Weezer - Jamie
Nick Cave and Kylie Minogue - Where the Wild Roses Grow
Counting Crows - Einstein on the Beach - I want to hate Counting Crows, but I just can't do it. I am ashamed

I also downloaded a KEXP podcast. It was awful. The new music director has taken the station and made it nearly unlistenable. It was boring before, now it's annoying and boring.

Although, because of the KEXP podcast I learned the greatest mnemonic on Friday. Jesus Christ Made Seattle Under Protest. It's a way of remembering Seattle's downtown streets. Jefferson, James, Cherry, Columbia, Marion, Madison, Spring, Seneca, University, Union, Pike, Pine. Too bad the song that taught me this sucks even with the points that it earned for cleverness.

Whenever I started listening to music on Friday at work, the phone would ring. Never failed. As soon as I pushed play...ring, ring, ring. I'd forget to turn it back on and no one would call. Then I'd turn it back on and sure enough, someone called with yet another stupid question.

On the way home from work on Friday I saw someone broken down so I pulled over to give him a push. Turns out he just needed some gas and he was just going to walk to the gas station across the street. Unfortunately, he didn't have any cash on him and needed to go cash his paycheck so he asked if I could give him and his little girl a ride. So I gave them a ride and then took them to get gas and drove them back to their car. It was a lot to do for a stranger but after my debacle a couple months ago, I felt I needed to do something good. Plus he turned out to be a really nice guy and he filled up my gas tank.

I laughed harder during Jackass 2 than I have all year long.

We got up early and rode our bikes downtown to the Ventura farmer's market. I love me some fresh produce. If you ever see Muscat grapes for sale, I suggest you buy some.

We also went to the Camarillo outlet mall. I need new jeans bad. However, skinny jeans are in and I can't find anything that fits. It's ridiculous. My boxer briefs shouldn't roll up when I try them on. I did get some shoes and some basketball shorts and a new backpack, so all wasn't lost.

The Huskies beat Arizona 21-10 and are 4-1. Pretty damn good, Ty. Bowling Green beat Ohio U 21-9 but they have to play Ohio State next week. Washington State lost, but they played USC tough.

Death? inadvertently had a Chinese dish at a Mexican restaurant tonight. It was awful. It sounded really yummy and Mexican on the menu, but it turned out to basically be stir fried chicken and veggies on rice with soy sauce and tortillas. Broccoli and soy sauce have no place anywhere near a self-respecting Mexican restaurant. Plus, Death? wanted a mojito and we figured that a restaurant with a full bar could make one for us. Nope. No mint. Yolanda's...welcome to our restaurant black list. We resolved to only eat out once this week, and this crappy meal was the one we ended up with.

We tried to watch Super Troopers. Maybe the meal put us in a bad mood but in the 20 minutes that we watched we laughed maybe twice. Are we missing something?

Finally, Saturday Night Live: Still not funny. Dane Cook: Now a big annoying star and still not funny. The Killers: Still kickin' ass and taking names.


Jury Duty/90's Alterna-Pop-Rock

Posted by Brandon |

I have jury duty tomorrow. Whoopee-doo.

Problem is that we have been without a customer service rep and a manager at work for the past month leaving two of us to do everything. If one of us is gone, the other is fucked and pretty much the department is fucked. My co-worker is great, but she manages the warehouse and has never been trained to do the other work, which is fucked up on the part of her former bosses and I hope to fix that problem soon. So I'm the only one at work who knows how to process orders, answer the phones, and basically do the work that has to be done so that she can do her work. So for anything to happen tomorrow, I have to go in bright and early and get things ready for the day. I'm not a morning person, so I'm really, really excited.

On another topic, I've been really interested in early to mid 9o's alterna-pop-rock. I recently rediscovered Soul Asylum, Dandy Warhols, SuperDeluxe and The Rentals. I've been digging on Screaming Trees, The Lemonheads, Eels and of course the Pixies. I've been looking at some of the "best of the 90's" cd's trying to find more, but I know I'm forgetting some really great songs. If you know of some great songs that I might be forgetting and I should be buying, please leave me a comment and let me know.


DWP! Fantasy Football - Week Three

Posted by Brandon |

On Friday night I went to a high school football game between two national powerhouses, St. Bonaventure of Ventura and Oaks Christian of Westlake Village. Both teams have Division I caliber players all over their lineups including Notre Dame bound QB Jimmy Clausen. The game had been sold out for over a month and tickets were being sold online for $100 to as much as $250. According to Sports Illustrated, it was the most anticipated high school game of the season. But it didn't live up to the hype as Oaks Christian dominated every aspect en route to a 59-13 drubbing on the St. Bonnie Seraphs home turf.

Why do I bring this up? Well, week three of the DWP! Fantasy Football league featured a very similar game between two undefeated powerhouses, my Down With Pants! squad and Culture Kills Lions. The results were much the same as my team dominated scoring a league high 94 points proving, much like Oaks Christian did, that we are the team to beat. Combine that whooping with a TheDutchFiles loss and guess who sits alone in first place.

There were some other games this week, although my ego made it hard for me to notice. So here are the week three results. As always, leading scorers for each team follow the score...

Witty Team Name (1-2) - 75 - Carson Palmer - 21 points
TheDutchFiles (2-1) - 49 - Ryan Longwell/Steelers Defense - 11 points

Cuckoo For Kapgar (2-1) - 81 - Clinton Portis - 19 points
Blogography Hellmonkeys (1-2) - 35 - Peyton Manning - 16 points

Red Zins (1-2) - 65 - Brett Favre - 24 points
johnnyhongkong (1-2) - 42 - Eagles Defense - 13 points

navelgazing ramblers (1-2) - 55 - David Carr - 12 points
CineRobots - (1-2) - 36 - Larry Fitzgerald - 9 points

2much411foozball (2-1) - 91 - Javon Walker/Willie Parker - 18 points
The OC Snackiepoos (1-2) - 47 - Tom Brady - 12 points

Down With Pants! (3-0) - 94 - Brian Westbrook - 25 points
Culture Kills Lions (2-1) - 67 - Matt Hasselbeck - 28 points

In week four, the Down With Pants! crew faces off against a down but hungry johnnyhongkong while TheDutchFiles and 2much411foozball match up in a battle of 2-1 upstarts. It should be another fun and exciting week...

2much411foozball vs. TheDutchFiles
The OC Snackiepoos
vs. CineRobots
Cuckoo For Kapgar vs. Witty Team Name
Culture Kills Lions vs. Blogography Hellmonkeys
Down With Pants! vs. johnnyhongkong
Red Zins vs. navelgazing ramblers

Please notice that Denver, NY Giants, Pittsburgh and Tampa Bay are on their bye weeks.


I'm a Cell Out

Posted by Brandon |

Today I did the unthinkable. I got a cell phone. It's my first ever personal cell phone (I had one given to me at work once) and it's frickin' cool. It's a Helio Hero and it has so many sweet features like unlimited text messaging, internet surfing, 2.0 megapixel camera and manly looking manliness, that I couldn't pass up the good deal that work was cutting me.

And it has already come in handy. In a massive rush to get away from work today, I locked my keys in my trunk. Luckily, I had my new Hero and I called AAA, then I took a picture of myself looking pissed about locking my keys in my car, uploaded it to MySpace, and now I bring it to you. This thing kicks ass!

By the way, my last post apologizing to everybody started out as a rant about the stupid way that public people apologize nowadays. You know, the "if you were offended by what I said, then I am sorry". That is such a meaningless apology. It doesn't show remorse or that they don't really mean what they said. It only means that they are sorry that people don't agree with them. I don't know why anybody demands apologies or why they then accept them after hearing that bullshit.

Anyway, it got a little out of control when instead, I decided to apologize in the same way. So If you were offended by my last post in any way, then I am very sorry. For those of you who weren't, rock on bitches! Wooooo Hooooo!!!



Posted by Brandon |

I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to the idiots who may have been offended by anything that I have said here at Down With Pants! in the past week. If you were offended, I apologize

I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who was offended by me calling them idiots. I mispoke, you are not idiots, but a bunch of pussies. Wah, wah, wah...

Ok, ok...seriously, I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who was offended by my insensitive remarks toward women. Calling a bunch of whiney babies pussies is not acceptable and I understand that. I should have just called them a bunch of homos and moved on...wait, no, that's not what I meant!

I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to the Down With Pants! gay community for my unfathomable insensitivity when I used the term homo as a synonym for whiney babies and idiots and pussies. It was a shitty thing to do and if you were offended, I am sorry.

Damn...I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who was offended when I used an inappropriate word in my apology to those whiney homos in the last paragraph. If you were offended, I again am sorry and I will try to choose my words more wisely in the future.

Sorry, Damn is not appropriate either. If you were offended, please accept my apology.

Sorry, I said that D-word again.

Ugh, let's try this one more time. If you have been offended by anything that I have ever written, I am sincerely and profoundly sorry. Their is no reason for it and They're is no excuse for it.

I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who was offended by my improper use of the words "their" and "they're" in the last paragraph. If I offended any Grammar Nazi's out there, I am sorry.

I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who was offended by my use of the term "Grammar Nazi's". I was insensitive to Nazis everywhere and if they were offended, then I am sorry.

I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who was offended by me offering my sincere and profound apologies to Nazi's. If you were offended, I am sorry.

Finally, I would like to offer my sincere and profound apologies to anybody who read this far down. It was insensitive of me to subject you to a post this lame. If you were offended, then I am very sorry.


Dear Washington Realtors

Posted by Brandon |

Please, please, please, shut the fuck up! I just found this ad in the back of the Ventura County Reporter and I nearly lost my shit...

Noooooooo!!!! Quit promoting our fair state! Especially to Californians. I would one day like to live in Port Townsend and after three years down here, I won't want them anywhere near my Washington home.

Erik Estrada hawking Ocean Shores and Anderson Island is one thing, but those commercials were just sad and hard to take seriously. Plus those ads are made by Californian developers who don't give a damn about what they are doing to those communities.

But you monsters are selling out your own people. If you bring Californians in, they will build a strip mall in the middle of Fort Warden. Your tree covered hills will be full of palm tree cell phone towers. BMW's will clog the streets.

For the love of Gheorghe Muresan, please stop. Property values are skyrocketing without Californians, your profits will be fine. You don't need them, they are not worth the money. Your Victorian Seaport is great as is and I'm happy that a Subaru Forrester is typically the most exotic car that you ever see in town.

Thanks a bunch, you dirty traitorous bastards,


Your Religious Blog is Wrong

Posted by Brandon |

Last night I started surfing BlogMad for the very first time. I forgot that when you surf through those traffic exchanges, if you haven't set your banned categories, you will see ten political or religious blogs for every normal blog.

I hate political blogs unless they are written by someone who is actually in the know and even then, I shy away from them. But I especially hate religious blogs, not necessarily because I don't believe what they believe, but because they are boring as can be...but mainly because I don't believe what they believe. Stupidly, I made the big mistake of reading some of these blogs last night and it just made me angry. All of these writers are wrong, wrong, wrong. Here's a little scorecard to show you which religious blogs are wrong...

Christian blogs: WRONG

Muslim blogs: WRONG

Buddhist blogs: WRONG

Jew blogs: WRONG

Paganist blogs: WRONG

Atheist blogs: WRONG

Taoist blogs: WRONG

Zoroastrianist blogs: WRONG

Rastafarian blogs: WRONG

Pastafarian blogs: WRONG

All the other religious blogs: WRONG

There is only one true God that you should be writing about and I am going to let you in on the little secret that came to me in a dream one night. In my holy dream Billy Crystal spoke to me. He explained why his career had gone down the toilet and why we haven't heard from him in nine or ten years. He told me that he met a man while filming one of his last live action films that changed his life. This man set him free from the trappings of Hollywood fame, glory and excess by outshining him in a critically panned film. This once great star who shot to the top of the elite on the back of films like City Slickers and City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold was humbled by the sacrifice that this man showed and the mercy that he exhibited in taking a role that was sure to flop just to show Billy the true way.

He told me that when he went to thank this man, he just smiled, touched his nose, told him that his name was no longer Billy and from that day forward he would be known as Bhillyhe, and then disappeared into a puff of gold smoke. Bhillyhe became hysterical with joy crying and praising like never before. He knew that he had met God, and it was good, and he wanted to let me know that my suspicions about God all these years were true and that I should seek his knowledge and share it with the world.

That man, my friends, the one true God that Bhillyhe met and that I have suspected for years is none other than the 7 foot 7, former Washington Bullet center, Gheorghe Muresan...

Change your religious blogs now! They are not worth the time that you put into them. Seek and write about My Giant and you shall find your way.

When you do, please let me know so that I can take the religious category off of my banned surfing list on BlogMad. Thanks!


Classic DWP! - The Number Eight

Posted by Brandon |

Let's be honest, blogger fantasy football is only fun to read about for those of us playing and since I am testing out BlogMad tonight, I feel like I should post something remotely interesting to read. So here's a little dose of classic DOWN WITH PANTS! Please excuse the ugliness of the drawing, I was still using Microsoft Paint at that point for all of my graphic design needs.

A couple of months ago I noticed that I write the number eight differently than most people. Instead of one single continuous line in a loop-de-loop, I write mine with two separate circles...

So I have been asking everybody I know how they write the number eight and so far I have yet to find anyone who draws their eights the same way I do. In fact, I have had to put up with a ton of ridicule from my co-workers, friends, family and even my fiance since confessing my difference. My education and upbringing have been questioned on numerous accounts. My self-esteem has been torn in shreds due to my newly acquired minority status.

But today I come out and announce to the world, "I draw the number eight with two circles, and I'm damn proud!" Screw all of you for making me feel bad about myself because I am different than you. I am proud of my difference and will continue to flaunt it. I plan on writing the number eight like I do for the rest of my life no matter what happens.

Besides, I am right. You may have learned some fucked up way from your awful elementary teachers long ago but when you type the number eight, what does it look like?


They look like two circles on top of each other to me. I suppose you are going to tell me that you continue to write in perfect cursive like you learned in elementary school. Has anybody ever written a "Z" like they were taught in cursive after the sixth grade? No, they haven't...and you shouldn't continue to write an eight in that ridiculous manner anymore either.

But whatever, you can't help it if you were brainwashed at an early age. Was I the only one smart enough to recognize it?


DWP! Fantasy Football - Week Two

Posted by Brandon |

The cream rose to the top in week two of the DWP! Fantasy Football League. Three teams remain unbeaten, my glorious team, Culture Kills Lions and surprisingly enough, TheDutchFiles. But six teams sit only one game back while the three teams without a win feature experienced fantasy players (or help from experienced fantasy players) and are bound to get back into the fray.

CineRobots led the way in week two with five players scoring in double digits en route to an 87-49 shellacking of last week's high scoring team, johnnyhongkong. With Michael Vick and LaDainian Tomlinson leading the way, CineRobots looks like the team that will come out of that 1-1 group and contend for the title.

Here are the week two results. Leading scorers for each team follow the score...

TheDutchFiles (2-0) - 75 - Rudi Johnson - 19 points
The OC Snackiepoos (1-1) - 69 - Jaguars Defense - 16 points

Blogography Hellmonkeys (1-1) - 65 - Peyton Manning - 26 points
Witty Team Name (0-2) - 61 - Carson Palmer - 15 points

Culture Kills Lions (2-0) - 62 - Ravens Defense - 27 points
Red Zins (0-2) - 34 - Philip Rivers - 10 points

CineRobots - (1-1) - 87 - Vick, Tomlinson, Kaeding - 17 points
johnnyhongkong (1-1) - 49 - Johnson, Wilkins, Philly - 9 points

2much411foozball (1-1) - 73 - Eli Manning - 23 points
navelgazing ramblers (0-2) - 50 - Drew Brees - 13 points

Down With Pants! (2-0) - 71 - Donovan McNabb - 20 points
Cuckoo For Kapgar (1-1) - 49 - Bears Defense - 16 points

Week three features the league's top teams facing off. My Down With Pants! team faces off against the Culture Kills Lions in a battle for first place while TheDutchFiles attempts to keep pace with the winner against a winless but hungry Witty Team Name.

2much411foozball vs. The OC Snackiepoos
TheDutchFiles vs. Witty Team Name
Cuckoo For Kapgar vs. Blogography Hellmonkeys
Culture Kills Lions vs. Down With Pants!
Red Zins vs. johnnyhongkong
CineRobots vs. navelgazing ramblers

Everybody notice that there are teams on their bye week. San Diego, Kansas City, Dallas and Oakland are off this week. Please adjust your lineups accordingly.


TV on the TV

Posted by Brandon |

Tonight was a great night of TV, finally. Well, some of it was crap but at least it was entertaining. The highlights/lowlights...

1. Monday Night Football - Ok, so I didn't really watch much of the game and I'm glad that I didn't because it looked like a snoozer. 9-0? Poor Kapgar, a 9-0 game won't help Byron Leftwich singlehandedly beat me.

2. How I Met Your Mother - One of the best but most frustrating shows on TV today. It's awesome when it's quick paced and doesn't try to sappy you to death, awful when it does. Tonight's show was no different. Really, really funny for the first 20 minutes and then dull and hokey the rest. I'm hoping this show will finally find it's goofball center soon.

3. Wife Swap - One of the founders of Talk Like A Pirate Day (which just happens to be tomorrow!) and his family were featured tonight swapping places with a suburban Californian organization freak. Of course I sided with the pirates but it's really hard to pick sides when both of them are so wrong. I enjoy watching Wife Swap, but the swap itself is a totally futile exercise because they are so opposite that there is virtually nothing that either side can teach each other. The opposition is too much to overcome. But from 9-10, there is absolutely nothing else to watch.

4. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - The absolute highlight of the night. I hate Amanda Peet and I hate Matthew Perry but I loved both of them tonight and I loved this show. Schlamme and Sorkin have done it again combining Sports Night with The West Wing into a show that I am already ready to call one of my favorite shows on TV. I can't wait to see more next week.

5. Ellen Degeneres: Here and Now - After Studio 60 I flipped over to Comedy Central for the Daily Show and saw the tail end of Ellen's HBO special that they were running in place of Blue Collar TV. Can you imagine the rednecks tuning in to watch Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Foxworthy and finding Ellen's hardcore liberal lesbian ass on their screen? It makes me happy just to think about it.


DWP! Fantasy Football - Week One

Posted by Brandon |

I should have done this earlier in the week, but I didn't. What are you going to do? But, I think it's time that you were updated on the goings on in our little blogger fantasy football league.

Week One saw a healthy mix of newcomers winning and long-time fantasy footballers taking a tumble. Congratulations to johnnyhongkong for leading the way with 90 whopping points thanks to Kurt freakin Warner and his kicker. That sure as heck won't be something you hear every week.

Anyway, here are the week one results. Leading scorers for each team follow the score...

The OC Snackiepoos (1-0) - 59 - Adam Vinatieri - 15 points
Witty Team Name (0-1) - 47 - Bengals Defense - 17 points

TheDutchFiles (1-0) - 53 - Steelers Defense - 14 points
navelgazing ramblers (0-1) - 51 - Josh Brown - 12 points

johnnyhongkong (1-0) - 90 - Kurt Warner - 22 points
2much411foozball (0-1) - 37 - Eli Manning - 12 points

Culture Kills Lions (1-0) - 62 - Ravens Defense - 25 points
CineRobots - (0-1) - 54 - Donte Stallworth - 13 points

Cuckoo For Kapgar (1-0) - 39 - Chicago Defense - 19 points
Red Zins (0-1) - 33 - Neil Rackers - 10 points

Down With Pants! (1-0) - 67 - Donovan McNabb - 22 points
Blogography Hellmonkeys (0-1) - 55 - Heath Miller - 11 points

This weeks games should be great. It's Man against Man and Woman against Woman in all of the games this week...

2much411foozball vs. navelgazing ramblers
TheDutchFiles vs. The OC Snackiepoos
Witty Team Name vs. Blogography Hellmonkeys
Cuckoo For Kapgar vs. Down With Pants!
Red Zins vs. Culture Kills Lions
CineRobots vs. johnnyhongkong

All I know for sure is that Cuckoo For Kapgar is going down, hard. His team will never be the same.


Your Weekend Lebowski Fix

Posted by Brandon |

Fuck...I've got nothing tonight. I started writing three different posts and none of them came together. Instead, it's time to bring back Your Weekend Lebowski Fix (for more click here and here). Here's a Monster's Inc. - Lebowski mashup. Pretty funny stuff...

I've got to say, persistence pays off. Dawn (aka Webmiztris) has been bidding to rent my blog for quite some time and I always turn her back because she is already on my blogroll and gets 30+ comments on all her posts. She doesn't need any help. But I finally have caved to the pressure, so please go visit Tiny Voices In My Head, one of my favorite blogs that I constantly lurk around.

Thank god!


First Five Minutes of Project Runway

Posted by Brandon |



Team Cake or Death?

Posted by Brandon |

We now resume our regularly scheduled tomfoolery...

Ever wonder why I call my wife Death? I think I've explained it before, but with so many new readers and the fact that I was called out about it on Recommended this weekend, maybe I should revisit it one more time. Too bad it's not that good of a story.

We started Geocaching a few years ago after learning about the GPS treasure hunting game through Will Wheaton's blog. My wife read about it one night and thought it would be fun but eventually let it slip her mind since we didn't have a GPS and couldn't afford to buy one just for fun. But I didn't forget and for Christmas I bought her a Garmin ETrex, a gift that doesn't sound romantic or exciting, but has turned out to be one of the most useful gifts that I ever gave.

When it came time to pick a Geocaching screen name, we couldn't think of anything good. This was our first joint account, this was a big decision, so we had to come up with a clever and defining name. We kicked around a lot of ideas but nothing stuck. Then we watched Eddie Izzard's Dress To Kill for the millionth time and the name Team Cake or Death? stuck in our head. If you've seen Dress To Kill, you know the reference. If not, click here.

One day I asked, just goofing around, which one of us is Cake and which one of us is Death? I wanted to be Death? but in reality I knew what the answer was going to be. I'm Cake and the wife is Death? Why she chose Death?, I'm not totally sure, probably just because it sounds tough. But Cake is a an apt description for me, I'm kind of a Cake kind of person. You know, soft and squishy and oh so tasty.

Ewww, that's gross.


More Remembering September 11, 2001

Posted by Brandon |

I thought that I was done with writing about September 11th, I was ready to move on.

But while flipping through the channels I came across Countdown with Keith Olbermann and his special comment on 9/11, a scathing commentary and plea directed toward George W. Bush and his government mere minutes before his address to the nation. It summed up everything that I have ever wanted to say since that day and made me more angry and more sad than I have ever been about the whole situation.

To watch the video, click here (sadly, you must use Internet Explorer to watch). To read the full transcript, click here.

After Olbermann's comments you can listen to President Bush's address to the nation in which he says and does everything that Olbermann accused him of doing. It was an insensitive and disturbing address that was not a tribute but a sad attempt to use the memory of this day to advance his failing agenda.

In the words of Keith Olbermann: "We have not forgotten, Mr. President. You have. May this country forgive you."


Remembering September 11th, 2001

Posted by Brandon |

I wanted to post something mundane and silly on this the five year anniversary of September 11th, 2001 as a respite from the sheer amount of coverage that this day will receive. But I started to think about how well I remember that day five years later and how everything that happened has stuck with me. This is not a post memorializing the victims or philosophizing on what has happened since or anything scholarly. It's just simply a recollection of what I did and how I felt on that day. It may not be important on a grand scale and is probably downright trite in comparison to the suffering that occurred elsewhere, but everybody has a story about that day, and this is mine.

At the time, I was living in Harlingen, Texas with my best friend John working for the Rio Grande Valley WhiteWing baseball team. Our season had just ended and we were taking it easy after a long summer. I decided the night before that I would sleep in and go to work a little bit late. I awoke to the sound of my alarm and the DJ saying "all of our thoughts and prayers are with everybody at the World Trade Center in New York Ci..." and I hit the snooze button. As I lay there the words started to sink in and I wondered what he was talking about. So I got up, grabbed a bowl of cereal, plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV not expecting to find anything major.

Boy was I ever wrong. As I turned on the TV I saw the second plane crash into the tower and it was obvious that this wasn't something little. I, like everybody else, watched in horror as the news anchors tried to help us make sense of it all. Another plane crashed into the Pentagon and another in rural Pennsylvania. I called work to let them know I wasn't going to be in for a while...they understood. I sat there frozen watching as the first tower collapsed and then the second and each time I just cried and cried, bawling like a little baby.

I finally got it together enough to take a shower and head into work. At that point I just couldn't be by myself anymore and even the idiots that I worked with were more relief than sitting in front of the TV by myself would be. Of course, all we did was sit in the office and watch TV and hypothesize about who was behind it, how many people had died and why it had happened. I held a lot of my first impressions back because of how unpopular they would be in a room full of Texans, impressions that I still get today but don't wish to go into at this point.

Then the owners of our team showed up. We had just learned that our general manager was going to be leaving and a lot of rumors were being spread around between our team and owner's other team in Edinburg about who would replace him and various other nasty rumors about personnel in the organization. We proceeded to get a lecture about spreading rumors and a threat that if any of us were spreading these rumors that we would be fired quickly. Every one of us took offense to these threats not because of how idiotic they were but because those jokers chose to treat it like a serious matter on a day where nothing else mattered in the least bit. We didn't care one bit about what they had to say to us. Yesterday maybe, but not today.

When I got home I finally had a chance to call my loved ones, I talked to my mom and my grandparents and finally my girlfriend, now wife who was getting ready to start medical school in Seattle. We talked a lot about what happened and how lonely we both were being apart on a day like this. I had been considering leaving the team and going home to be with her and our conversation and the loneliness that we both felt pretty much cemented the idea that night. But she made the mistake of telling me about deadly mold spores. We had had a leak in our air conditioner a week earlier and despite the fact that the landlord fixed it, they didn't bother to clean or dry the carpet where it leaked and it was still wet. I didn't think of it as a problem until she mentioned it that night.

I decided to go to bed early, I had had enough coverage by that time. I didn't think I could take seeing anymore video especially when we started seeing the shot of the people jumping from the top floors. That was just too much for me. As I laid there all I could think about were terrorists and deadly mold spores and how I might not wake up again if I went to sleep. I laid there for what seemed like hours thinking and crying. It was the first time in my life that I can remember being completely scared shitless.

So, totally freaked out, I called John who was spending the night at his girlfriend's place and asked if I could come hang out with them and sleep on her couch. We watched a couple of movies including Jurassic Park III, which we made fun of throughout laughing our asses off at just how bad it was. We stayed up all night eating junk food, watching movies, playing video games and enjoying each other's company. None of us forgot what was going on or felt any better about it, but it turned out to be one of the best nights that I spent in Texas because of how comforting and relieving it was to share it with two friends who were just as freaked and in need of relief as me.

So that was my day. It's not a great or important story, but it's a day that I will always remember not just because of the awful thing that happened but because of the context and how it wove itself into all of our lives. Like it or not, 9/11 is a part of who you are and always will be no matter what you did that day. The important thing today, five years later, is to remember the context and how it wove into your life and what lessons you learned that day. I learned that friendship and family bonds are more important than anything else and worth sacrificing for. And although I'm miles away from my friends and family, nothing could stop me from being there for them if they are in need just as they were for me on September 11, 2001.


Yahoo Can Blow Me

Posted by Brandon |

If you're like me, you have quite a few different email addresses that you use on a regular basis. I have my work email, my blogs email, my "just my name" email and a couple of other ones that I no longer use. I use my "just my name" Yahoo address as my personal address. Most of my friends and my family use this address even though I now favor my Gmail account for almost everything else.

I was pretty happy with Yahoo until they launched a new login page featuring all sorts of "regular people" striking poses and hawking their features. I'm getting pretty sick and tired of having to see these boneheads every time I check my email, which I do quite often. I have a problem. Anyway, here are the ones that really piss me off...

Fuck the viruses! Zap her and her big ass tongue. I guess she just ate a lollipop or a popsicle or the blood of a newborn baby. Either way, that's one nasty looking tongue.

Yes, quick! Find that email of an old flame and have him call the cops so they can save you from the creepy old dude that is holding your campground hostage with just his fishing vest and a can of pomade. Now that's a reason to get Yahoo Mail.

This poor little bunny shows up more often than any other ad. I have to see it's sad little eyes crying for help from behind that hideous hot pink sweater 75% of the time that I login. Rabbit owners are almost always certifiably looney tunes and from the looks of it, this one is no different.

Intergalactic? Perhaps. Androgynous? Most definitely. Any guesses? Guy? Girl? Guygirl? If you said Hopeless Hipster, then you win the big prize. Gender matters not in this instance.

Ok Hippie McTarderson, don't ever do your "homie" stance again. Did you just break down a funky, fresh, dope, riggity-rhyme, my brother? Did you just pop a cap in that ass? Can we please declare Hip Hop dead now? Pretty please with sugar on top?

P.S...Please go visit my new renter, Make Me Watch TV. His site is why I continue to rent out my blog for only 10 credits. I have found so many great blogs by doing it this way and his is no different. On MMWTV, you vote on what he should watch on TV that night and he blogs about it. Definitely a different idea and quite the commitment. Plus, he's a Veronica Mars fan despite his early skepticism.


Sucky Traffic and More Fun

Posted by Brandon |

Today was one of the weirdest and most confusing days in my history as a blogger so please bear with me while I whine a little bit. In the grand scheme of bloggers, I don't whine much so I think I can be excused just this once.

My story over at The Sports Logo Pundit about the Hollywood Fame basketball team, which is partially owned by Nick Lachey, was picked up by Deadspin.com, the sports outlet of Gawker Media and one of my favorite sports websites anywhere. This meant that I had a huge, hurking monster of a traffic day.

That's great and all, but out of the nearly 1000 people that stopped by, I had one comment. One! I didn't expect to have hundreds of comments or anything, but I thought that a few more people would say a little something. I like comments, especially on a blog that rarely gets them. Hopefully it will at least translate into some links and some new readers.

On the other hand, today was one of my worst traffic days here on Down With Pants! I'm especially upset about this because of the new design. I put a lot of work into it and am pretty proud of it and would like to have people take a look. I really don't want to hop back on Blog Explosion because the hits from there are as bad as the Deadspin hits but something needs to be done. Anybody found a good traffic exchange that is actually working for them? Maybe I just need better content to match the look. I don't know.

In other whiney news, my car suddenly has itself a gremlin. The anti-theft device, also known as the really stupendously annoying honking and flashing bullshit, has decided to randomly go off tonight. I don't want to be the asshole in the neighborhood with the alarm. I really don't. So now my car is sitting there unlocked because when you lock it up it automatically turns on the anti-theft device. Fucking great.

The first time it happened my crazy bitch of a downstairs neighbor came up and knocked on my door to let me know. You know what that means now, don't you? I can't complain about her loud ass Kelly Clarkson at 2:00 AM for at least a month, and that's one of my favorite hobbies. Double fucking great.

To top all of that off, I was a space case this evening. I lost the keys to my gremlin ridden car. I tore the house apart looking for them getting more and more pissed off and perplexed along the way. When it seemed that I had looked everywhere, I decided to quadruple check the car, and sure enough, there they were...IN! THE! IGNITION! Half an hour late for basketball all because my dumb ass can't take the keys out of the car.

*Project Runway spoiler alert* At least Michael didn't get the boot tonight on Project Runway, I couldn't be happier with who did. Plus I had these incredible bacon and rosemary pork chops from Trader Joe's for dinner. So it isn't all bad, I guess.


DWP! Battle Royale - Brain Injury vs. Drowning

Posted by Brandon |

I need help settling an argument that Death? and I had last night at dinner.

Death? is all about wearing helmets when we ride our bicycles. She says that we have to wear them to not only protect ourselves but to also set a good example for kids who might see us out riding. She is such a goody-goody but it's also selfish. She doesn't want to have to clean up some kid who spilled his brains all over the pavement so she makes me wear my helmet. I agree with her, we should wear our helmets, but when I ride by myself I often go without.

On the other hand, she doesn't think that she needs to wear a life jacket when out kayaking in deep water and said that she wouldn't make her hypothetical 10 year-old child wear a life jacket if they knew how to swim. I, being a lousy swimmer who is a little afraid of water, think that everybody should be wearing their life jackets especially when out kayaking and especially if they are young children on a boat. No exceptions.

Now, my argument isn't so much with the actions themselves. I will wear my helmet, I have even taken off my life jacket when we've been out canoeing on Lake Washington. My argument is that the two are identical precautions to take. Riding a bicycle with a helmet on is the same thing as wearing a life jacket while out on the water. If you are whole heartedly in support of one, then you must be whole heartedly in support of the other.

A bike helmet will save your life if you take a nasty fall or if you get hit by a car or if you get into a fight with an idiot on a ten speed in a Discovery Channel spandex outfit. It may not save all of your bones and whatnot, but at least your brain will be intact.

A life jacket will save your life if you tip over your kayak and can't get back in or if you fall out of a boat or if you get into a fight with an idiot on a ten speed in a Discovery Channel spandex outfit who happens to have mob connections. If you are stupid enough to be out without a partner, then you may die of hypothermia or get so tired that you can't swim, but at least you are kept from drowning until someone can come and help.

All I'm saying is that being able to swim shouldn't be a reason to not wear your life jacket just like being able to ride a bike shouldn't be a reason to not wear your helmet. The danger is equal and the best way to limit the danger is the same. Seems pretty simple to me. But Death? doesn't see it that way, she doesn't think that the life jacket and the bike helmet are equal.

So which one of us is right? Do you wear or make your kids wear a bike helmet when riding or a life jacket when out on the water? Have you been beat up by a guy on a ten speed? Help us settle this argument once and for all.


Down With Pants! Beta

Posted by Brandon |

I'm currently working on a massive redesign for Down With Pants! To see the progress please go visit my "beta" site (I've always wanted to have something beta!) and let me know what you think. I love trying to manipulate Blogger templates. It's so much fun. Keep in mind that I'm not done. I'm trying to make it look less like everybody else's blog as we speak.

UPDATE!!! - If you couldn't tell, I decided to take the leap and publish the new template. I think it looks pretty good. Not as unique as my old one, but definitely more readable and user friendly. I'm not done with it yet. I don't really like the skull sidebar titles so I think I'll design something more Down With Pants! themed sooner or later.

To steal a line from the show I've been watching all night (what an evening, huh?) - How do I look?

Also, don't forget to go visit my new renter The Grocery List From Hell. It's hard to believe that anybody would buy this crap.


Disgusted In Ventura

Posted by Brandon |

Yesterday I got a rambling comment on The Sports Logo Pundit from Disgusted In Seattle that made little to no sense and still has me perplexed. I was told that I "sound like a typical Northwest racist" in reaction to me saying that "I hate the fans of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Rich, white, know nothing about baseball, lemmings every single one of them."

Does anybody have any idea what a typical Northwest racist is? I didn't know that there was a racist stereotype for us. I'm not saying that there aren't racists in the Northwest, but typically, they aren't typical. Maybe that's exactly the problem. After thinking about it for a while, I have a theory about what the typical Northwest racist is. Let me explain.

The Northwest is predominantly liberal and predominantly white. It is also the home of hardcore political correctness, the root of racism in the area. When these non-racist white folks in the Northwest encounter minorities (especially blacks) a wave of panic runs though them. They shut their mouths, they grasp their bags closer to themselves, they cross the street...pretty much the same things that racists do everywhere.

But in the Northwest it isn't because they are afraid that somebody is going to attack and rob them, it's because they are afraid to say something politically incorrect and offend them and thus, be branded a racist. Of course, this makes them look like massive racists anyway. So then they believe that all minorities think of them as racists so they overcompensate and go out of their way to prove that they aren't, making them look like even bigger racists.

I've lived in a few places back east and in Texas where there seemed to be open animosity between whites and minorities. Despite the open racism that permeated these towns, at least they learned long ago how to happily occupy the same space and not be uncomfortable around each other. In the Northwest that isn't the case despite the liberal, enlightened nature of the people.

That being said, I really think that the Northwest racist is somebody who thinks that they are better than anybody from California, Anaheim Angels fans in particular especially ones that live in Seattle and make stupid comments on my blog. If that makes me a racist, then I am guilty. I do hate idiots.

P.S...Please go visit my renter, Grocery List From Hell. If there is a better blog about ridiculous eBay auctions then I have yet to find it.