8/26/2008

From the DWP! Archives: Yahoo Can Blow Me

Posted by Brandon |

I just realized that at some point since I wrote this post two years ago, Yahoo fazed these retarded banners out. Probably when they upgraded their service to be more like Gmail. Whatever, I'm SO glad...

If you're like me, you have quite a few different email addresses that you use on a regular basis. I have my work email, my blogs email, my "just my name" email and a couple of other ones that I no longer use. I use my "just my name" Yahoo address as my personal address. Most of my friends and my family use this address even though I now favor my Gmail account for almost everything else.

I was pretty happy with Yahoo until they launched a new login page featuring all sorts of "regular people" striking poses and hawking their features. I'm getting pretty sick and tired of having to see these boneheads every time I check my email, which I do quite often. I have a problem. Anyway, here are the ones that really piss me off...


Fuck the viruses! Zap her and her big ass tongue. I guess she just ate a lollipop or a popsicle or the blood of a newborn baby. Either way, that's one nasty looking tongue.


Yes, quick! Find that email of an old flame and have him call the cops so they can save you from the creepy old dude that is holding your campground hostage with just his fishing vest and a can of pomade. Now that's a reason to get Yahoo Mail.


This poor little bunny shows up more often than any other ad. I have to see it's sad little eyes crying for help from behind that hideous hot pink sweater 75% of the time that I login. Rabbit owners are almost always certifiably looney tunes and from the looks of it, this one is no different.


Intergalactic? Perhaps. Androgynous? Most definitely. Any guesses? Guy? Girl? Guygirl? If you said Hopeless Hipster, then you win the big prize. Gender matters not in this instance.


Ok Hippie McTarderson, don't ever do your "homie" stance again. Did you just break down a funky, fresh, dope, riggity-rhyme, my brother? Did you just pop a cap in that ass? Can we please declare Hip Hop dead now? Pretty please with sugar on top?

5 comments:

whall said...

Does Yahoo support pulling email from other accounts like Google does, or do you use forwards?

Brandon said...

whall - They probably do, but I just check it separately rather than combine everything.

Justin Scott said...

its the last one that really gets me... wtf. it's like microsoft is doing their PR these days.

Becky said...

Those pictures are horrible -- maybe that first girl zapped the virus with her tongue?

catherine said...

You are totally fucking funny. Jeez, how did I not find you earlier?

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