DOWN WITH PANTS!

I've been trying to keep the number of songs by one artist on my IPod to a minimum, but while adding songs from Built To Spill's There's Nothing Wrong With Love last night I realized that this is going to be very difficult with this album. I couldn't find but one song on this album to leave off, and even it's a pretty damn good song.

I hadn't listened to this album in months and somehow I forgot just how amazing and nearly perfect it is. From track one, "In the Morning" all the way to the last song "Stab" it just flows perfectly giving you 12 perfect pop nuggets along the way.

After "In the Morning" ends on comes track two, "Reasons" and I start to think that it might be my favorite song ever. Then "Reasons" finishes and "Big Dipper" starts and suddenly I have a new favorite song. And then you get to "Car" and "Fling" and "Twin Falls" and "Distopian Dream Girl" and by that time I'm as happy as can be but flustered and confused. Can I have six favorite songs all by the same artist? How did "Rump Shaka" fall so far on my favorites list?

If you've never heard this album, don't even bother listening to previews or anything. Just go out and buy it, download it from ITunes or burn it from a friend. I don't care, just get it. You won't regret it. It's easily my favorite album of all time and I think it might just do something for you too.

Death? came through in the clutch and did in fact secure us two tickets to the Weezer concert last night. It was an outstanding performance by the headliner playing a mixture of new, yet to be released songs and old favorites. They were rock solid and a lot of fun to see. My only criticism is that they don't really do anything different or interesting in concert. I could have sat at home and put in all their CD's and hit random and it would have sounded the same. Nonetheless it was good to see them at least once.

On the other hand, the opening band Ringside was perhaps the worst opener I have seen in my long lifetime of concert going. Wow, you wouldn't believe just how bad this band was. Even the 13 year olds in the crowd turned on them. Most opening bands are at the very least just annoying and boring but usually totally harmless to the bill. But after seeing Ringside play, I actually started to feel mad at Weezer for letting them anywhere near the stage. I kind of think Weezer owes us $10 each for having to sit through that awful opening band.

A couple more quick observations about the Weezer show...

• The crowd was really young with an average age of maybe 17. Weezer has been around since at least 1994 and I really expected a much older audience like myself.
  



• Death? has lamented many times about how bad low-rise jeans look on most girls and has wondered when they will go out of style. I happen to agree with her. Some girls it works on, most it doesn't. But after going to this show and seeing nearly every female in low-rise jeans you kind of have to conclude that the answer may end up being never.



• Is it possible that every young person in America now has a cell phone?



• The Moore, along with most other venues, at the request of the bands, do not let you bring cameras into concerts. However, since most young people in America now have a cell phone and a good number of those are camera phones, this rule has become a total joke.



• Still on the topic of cell phones, during a terrible, terrible slow song by Ringside some people jokingly got out their lighters and did that old cliche. A ton of people also got out their phones with the really bright screens and waved those. It was very, very weird.



• The people behind us in line for the show were wearing homemade t-shirts ripping ticket scalpers for the ridiculous prices they were charging and continued to rant about it while waiting. Then one of them purchased a bootleg t-shirt from a guy selling them on the street. Come on, the scalpers are evil but the bootleggers are not? Make up your mind!



• Finally, I forgot that teenagers will steal anything that isn't nailed down. After the show it was a free for all on any banners, signs or posters in the Moore. I almost saw someone walk off with one of those velvet ropes that usually blocks off the balcony seats when they are closed, but he didn't quite get it off before being pulled away by his friends.
  

As we speak, Death? is on her way to Redmond to hopefully pick up a pair of tickets that we saw listed on Craigslist for tonight's Weezer concert at the Moore Theater.

I messed up big time a month ago when these tickets went on sale. The presale started at 10:00 AM on a Friday and I was psyched and ready to get on the computer right at 10:00 but then I got to doing something at work and totally spaced out until 11:30. When I went to purchase tickets they were long gone. I've been bummed out ever since.

Hopefully these tickets pan out. I saw them this morning and I was a bit skeptical because they were listed as tickets for the fourth row of the balcony. However, the entire show is general admission - so what's the deal with these tickets? We will find out soon enough...

I've been trying to think of something funny to say about this spam that I keep getting, but I'm totally stumped. Instead I'll just present it to you, as is (except for censoring her nipples). I guess this just proves that sex will sell anything.

"HOW WE LIVIN' VATICAN CITY! HABEMUS PAPAM BITCHES!!! C-LAW...LET'S KICK IT!

Uh, uh, aaaaaaaahhhh yeah...

Just throw your hands in the A-yer and wave 'em like ya just don't cay-yer and if you like fish and grits and all that pimp shit somebody say oh yay-yer.

The clinic, the clinic, the clinics on fire! The clinic, the clinic, the clinics on fire...
we don't need no water let the muthafucka burn, burn abortion clinic, burn!

Somebody Sing Oh la, oh la ay...Oh la, oh la ay!
Oh la, oh la ay...Oh la, oh la ay!

I wanna hear ya say We don't need no condoms, come on...We don't need no condoms!
I can't hear you! We don't need no condoms...We don't need no condoms!

(Benedict starts doing the Ed Lover dance)
Go Benny! Go Benny! Go, go, go Benny!
Go Benny! Go Benny! Go, go, go Benny!

I wanna hear the ladies say AIDS is for the wicked...AIDS is for the wicked!
Come on ladies, say AIDS is for the wicked...AIDS is for the wicked!

After mass it's the after mass party and, after the party it's St. Peter's lobby and, after the lobby ya gotta freak an alter boy's body and...

Now somebody, anybody, everybody SCREAM!!!....AHHHHHHH!!!

HOLY SEE UP IN THE PLACE TO BE...PEACE BITCHES, I'M OUT!

"WHAT'S UP VATICAN CITY! HOLLA AT YOUR BOY! GIVE ME A BEAT CARDINAL LAW!

Put your hands up, put your hands up, put your hands up...

When I say Pope you say Benny...Pope! Benny! Pope! Benny!
When I say Pope you say Benny...Pope! Benny! Pope! Benny!

Say I wanna rock right now...I wanna rock right now!
Say I wanna rock right now...I wanna rock right now!

Now if you hate contraception let me hear you say Hey yo hey yo hey yo....Hey yo hey yo hey yo!
Say Hey yo hey yo hey yo...Hey yo hey yo hey yo!

Now somebody, anybody, everybody Scream!!!...AHHHHHHHH!!!

Today I went to good old Fred Meyer's in Ballard to purchase something for dinner. For whatever reason I had a hankering for an old fashioned babysitter lunch dinner complete with hot dogs and Kraft Cheese and Macaroni. While trying to find hot dogs buns, I had nearly the same exact freakout as Steve Martin in Father of the Bride...

"I'll tell you what I'm doing. I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying for four buns I don't need. So I am removing the superfluous buns. Yeah. And you want to know why? Because some big-shot over at the wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun company and decided to rip off the American public. Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nit-wits who will pay for everything they don't need rather than make a stink."

Now, I was actually able to find hot dog buns in packages of less than twelve but, get this - hold onto your lid George, they cost more than the packages of twelve! What the fuck? It was going to cost me $2.39 for eight stupid hot dog buns or $1.50 for twelve. Explain to me the logic behind this! I was flabbergasted. It makes no goddamn sense!

I guess in the end, in this example, we the consumers actually come out ahead. But I sure do feel like one of George's trusting nit-wits who will pay for everything rather than make a stink. Damn you, you wiener industry jackals!

Right now I'm supposed to be filling out some questionnaires for a couple of jobs that I'm applying for down in Ventura. According to the job descriptions, I'm actually fairly qualified for these positions. But the questions on these questionnaires are a little more in-depth and to answer them in a way that will get me hired I'm going to have to be very creative in relating my experience. I absolutely hate doing this but I really would like both of these jobs so I guess I'm just going to have to buckle down and get it done.

While being lazy and getting myself worked up to being frustrated with this process I stumbled across a blog for Britney Spears' unborn fetus. He's already more of an accomplished blogger than I am. Thanks to Apropos of Something for the link.

This morning on 107.7 The End they had one of their nighttime jocks come on and review the Queens of the Stone Age show that happened last night here in Seattle. One of my favorite bands, Throw Rag, opened for the Queens filling in for the Eagles of Death Metal who dropped out a few weeks ago. When describing Throw Rag all this jock could muster was "the opening band was Throw Rag...they were...uhhh".

Look at the picture above - how could you possibly only muster "uhhh" when describing this band? I guess to the senses of most Seattle rock fans they may be a little bit much. You know, they actually look like they are enjoying themselves on stage. They don't just brood and stare at their shoes while playing and they rock without any pretense. Basically, what I'm saying is, they are no Queens of the Stone Age, Interpol, Franz Ferdinand, The Bravery or whatever schlock, throwback, style-centric band that currently passes for rock in this town and that's exactly what I love about them.

The only thing I can think of is that Queens of the Stone Age told them to tone it down a bit after being blown off the stage at their own show. Throw Rag has a tendency to do that to headliners.

When I was going to college I occasionally drove between Bowling Green, Ohio and Ithaca, New York passing Olean, New York and Saint Bonaventure University. Later I became friends with a couple of students at that college and spent a few wild nights on campus. Now I will be moving to the Ventura, California also known as the City of San Buenaventura - Spanish for Saint Bonaventure. It seems like I keep running into the old Bonnie so I figure it's about time I learned something about this man...

• He's the patron saint of bowel disorders - no fucking joke, bowel disorders. How crappy is that!


• He was born in 1221 in Bagnorea, Italy and was originally named John.
  


• When John was four he became very ill and was miraculously healed by the prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi.


• It is said that John was renamed Bonaventure because Francis of Assisi had a vision of John's future and exclaimed "O bouna ventura!" (Oh good fortune)


• After graduating from the University of Paris, Bonaventure taught theology at the University.


• While teaching, Bonaventura wrote a 4000 page book explaining the textbook he used. "Comments on the Sentences" is considered his finest work.
  


• Bonaventure in 1265 was selected by Pope Clement IV to become a bishop. Bonaventure refused the honor.


• After Clement died in 1272 , the Cardinals were deadlocked in deciding on a new Pope. They presented six candidates to Bonaventure and he picked out Theobald who then took the name Pope Gregory X.
  


• Gregory tried to name him a Cardinal but again he refused.


• Bonaventure's miracle came when he was lying on his death bed. He asked to receive Holy Communion despite not being able to keep any food down. The sacrament was brought into his room and it rose into the air and floated across the room and settled onto his heart and was absorbed into his body. Hence the patron saint of bowel disorders thing.
  


• He died on July 14th, 1274 less than a week following the miracle.


• He was canonized as a Saint in 1482 by Pope Sixtus IV

Heard tonight on the Gilmore Girls...

"When a woman gives birth to a crack baby, you do not buy her a puppy."

Random and confounding yet somehow sound advice from Emily.

You better watch your step or else you will force me to use First Aid on your dumb ass - and you really don't want that! Today at work I took a First Aid class and now I'm a certified First Aid provider. Before today I would have thought that nothing should scare you (or me) anymore than that.

A couple of weeks ago, Death? cooked a whole chicken and asked me to carve it. So I started cutting into it and pulling things apart and suddenly I started getting really queesy. I had to walk away and gather myself and have Death? finish up cutting it. That dead and cooked chicken's bones and juice grossed me out so I started thinking that maybe treating a living human with juice flowing all over might not be my forte.

That's why I needed that First Aid class today. Now that I actually have some kind of training and know what to expect, it might not gross me out. I'm not squeamish around human blood at all and even though I'll say "ewwwww" if we are watching TV and a surgery or something like that comes on, I usually don't mean it (except plastic surgeries, those are disgusting). A little bit of knowledge goes a long way toward changing your mind on certain subjects and now I feel that if I had to snap some human bones and deal with some human juice, I certainly could.

If only they had a class I could take about not being a pussy about cutting up a chicken, I really would be set.

107.7 The End keeps talking about this silly little spat between The Bravery and The Killers...

The Bravery, who last week took some jabs from Killers frontman Brandon Flowers, have a few zingers of their own to throw right back. Last week, Flowers told MTV that the Bravery "are signed because we're a band," and accused them of ripping off their sound. The Bravery is now firing back, accusing the Killers of ripping off their image in order to energize their stage presence. Guitarist Michael Zacharin says, "If you have seen them live, they are incredibly boring. You remember what they used to look like, then people started comparing them to us and suddenly they got a stylist and Brandon frosted his hair and he's buying the cute pink jacket." Singer Sam Endicott is taking the high road, sort of, saying that he doesn't want to talk bad about Flowers "because it's like hitting a girl [or] like picking on a kid in a wheelchair."

Ummmm...guys, guys...calm down now. You both have ripped off countless many bands before your times. Originality isn't why anybody likes either of you. Unfortunately, I didn't really like it in the '80's and I'm not really that keen on it now that it's a schlocky throwback schtick. And Zacharin, please lay off of Brandon's frosted hair and pink jacket because even you have to admit he looks pretty cute in it.

It's a totally ridiculous and sexist exercise, but who really cares! SportsRadio KJR in Seattle each year has the Bigger Dance, a tournament featuring 64 actresses, models and women's sports stars in a competition to decide who is the "Queen of the Hardwood" (get it, hard wood, pretty clever!).

It's a pretty fun little competition plus it has one of the absolute best grand prizes ever. Two roundtrip plane tickets, hotel and two tickets to any sporting event in the world. Filling out the brackets is worth it just for the chance at winning that prize.

If anyone signs up please leave me a comment (include your email in the email field) and let me know and I'll invite you to join my DOWN WITH PANTS!/Sports Logo Pundit pool. Click here to go to the brackets.

Sin City was awesome! Violent, gory, sexy, ugly, disturbing, disgusting, beautiful, well acted, well directed, funny, Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, Mickey Rourke, Benecio Del Toro, Elijah Wood, Jessica Alba, Rossario Dawson, Jamie King, Alexis Bledel, Britany Murphy...Sin City was fucking awesome!

On a much sadder note today, it was announced that one of my favorite comedians, Mitch Hedberg, died on Wednesday from heart failure. While surfing around I found a bunch of great quotes from Mitch on More Cowbell so go check them out. Thanks for all the belly laughs Mitch, We sure will miss you.