11/20/2005

Dear Stupid Stroller On An Escalator Bitch

Posted by Brandon |

Maybe you don't understand the concept of the escalator, so let me explain. An escalator is a lot like stairs but the trick is that they move and you have to step off of them when you get to the top, there isn't really anything else you can do.

But, and here's the rub, when some stupid bitch who can't read a simple and clearly marked sign that reads NO STROLLERS!!! at the bottom stops where you have to step off because she has nearly dumped her baby out of the stroller, one has to take evasive action to get around said bitch or risk plowing right through them possibly injuring baby, bitch and themselves.

Since I know how an escalator works, imagine my surprise when all I saw was a rapidly disappearing escalator, a wall of bitch ass and a nearly upside down stroller where the escalator was rapidly disappearing. You were lucky that I was able to shake off the shock and quickly squeeze my way around your negligent butt so as not to splatter all of y'all.

But you're right, I'm really sorry I didn't say excuse me. Like you said, you were the one with the stroller there. It was really rude of me not to take the time to be polite while attempting not to run over a sorry excuse for a mom and her baby at the top of the escalator. You have every right to be upset at us.

Like hell. Don't you dare have the nerve to curse me and my wife out because of your rampant negligence and idiocy. Go get yourself some hooked on phonics tapes, a half a brain, some soap for that filthy fucking mouth of yours and a map to the nearest elevator and then I will start being polite. But until then, you had better watch out for me because the next time, I might not go around.

Happy Thanksgiving you shitty mommy!

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