DOWN WITH PANTS!

I'm not sure if this is a sign that I am growing up, I have gotten old or I'm a devoted husband, but yesterday while I was in line at the grocery store, I saw me some titties and it just made me feel bad.

With a basket in one hand and a case of soda in the other, I chose myself the shortest line of the bunch. It was late, it was strangely busy and there were only two checkers working. When standing in line to check out, the mind and the eyes have a tendency to wander.

I couldn't help but notice that the seemingly normal, average, early 30's woman standing in front of me wasn't wearing a bra under her sheer, white tank top. Being a man, an alarm sounded in my brain. "Oh my god, we might see boobs!" But this is where Brandon, the grown, married man came in. I suddenly realized, I didn't want to see her boobs, not even a little bit. So I tried to divert my attention, look elsewhere, read the tabloids, anything to make sure that I didn't see her breasts.

Then, she did something that even the woman behind me couldn't help but watch in both wonder and horror. She pulled her cart behind her when she entered the checkout lane and proceeded to bend straight over the cart letting her tank top fall exposing her breasts for everybody to see. I didn't mean to look, but there was nothing I could do not to look.

I must have looked hilarious because when I saw them hanging I nearly did a 360 degree spin so that I couldn't see them anymore. The lady behind me stood there slack-jawed only pausing to give me a quick joking smile when I snapped around. It felt like I was looking at a really bad cut. You pull the bandage back, get a quick peek and then quickly, out of horror, cover it back up only to go back for another look out of morbid curiosity.

Afterwards, I felt horrible about the whole thing. I felt bad that I couldn't stop myself from looking. I felt bad that this woman exposed herself to all of the world without even noticing or, at least, caring. I felt bad that the poor checker couldn't take her eyes off of the woman's nipples poking out from behind her shirt. I felt bad that she couldn't find her Von's card and I was too embarrassed to just let her use mine.

Seeing titties at the grocery store is a big surprise. Reacting negatively to said titties came as an even bigger surprise to me. Perhaps I have grown up. Perhaps I am getting old. Perhaps I do only want to see my wife's breasts. Perhaps nothing, it took seeing random tits to make me completely realize that these are facts, and I couldn't be happier.