DOWN WITH PANTS!

The Nut Job encounters continued later Sunday night...

While working my part time job at the Everett Aquasox I had the privilege of meeting a female nut job.  Barbie, as we will call her, was a 21 year-old, plastic, fake tanned, tattooed, pierced chick on the prowl.  She attended the game with a small group of people including her 18 year-old friend or sister, four mid 20's guys, possibly her dad and a gaggle of younger kids. 

Barbie and her sister/friend decided to start talking to the guys in the Tri-City Dust Devils bullpen.  My job is to keep people like her from bothering the players.  Normally it is just kids trying to get an autograph that I have to fend off.  Both these girls were very nice about it, they understood, but they were persistent and continued to go up there.  Later Barbie told me they wouldn't go up there anymore but she still needed to give them her phone number.  I told her to wait until after the game.

Right after the game as she's leaving she comes up to me and puts her arm around me and calls me a "Big Meanie" and says, "I still gave them my number and we are going out tonight!" 

To which I replied "Well great, good luck," and asked her "why would you want to go out with a ballplayer?"

"Well, they don't make much money, it's true," she mused.  "If they were all plastic surgeons then I'd be much happier.  But they are kind of cute!"

So watch your wallets Tri-City bullpen and enjoy that little bundle of joy that you will be making payments on in about nine months.  Enjoy your genital herpes Barbie and congratulations, you may have become the ho-iest ho that I have seen in baseball in many, many years!