DOWN WITH PANTS!

The Down With Pants! crew took in a movie last night on a long awaited evening off. We passed on Dodgeball and instead saw the incredibly funny Napoleon Dynamite , a movie that in my humble opinion will become a cult classic and has spawned another idea of what we will wear for Halloween.

Napoleon Dynamite is a nerd in the rural town of Preson, Idaho. Nothing in particular really happens to Napoleon and the movie doesn't really push it for the laughs. It just lets Napoleon loose and sees what happens.

Nobody is particularly likeable even Pedro and Deb, Napoleon's new friend and his love interest respectively, but it doesn't seem to matter. There is absolutely no sentimentality and nobody really changes or learns anything and yet they all seem grow on you even if you don't really want them to.

Roger Ebert says about the film (he didn't care for it) "Watching Napoleon Dynamite, I was reminded of Welcome to the Dollhouse, Todd Solondz's brilliant 1996 film, starring Heather Matarazzo as an unpopular junior high school girl. But that film was informed by anger and passion, and the character fought back."

I think Rog missed the point. This movie isn't about the anger or passion, it simply is watching Napoleon and telling his story. Not every movie has to have such motivation. Welcome to the Dollhouse was a good film. It presented a take on the nerdy adolescent that was somewhat disturbing at times and laced with anger. I have not seen it in years and don't remember it all that well, but I didn't have any kind of fuzzy feelings for it.

Napoleon Dynamite on the other hand is not disturbing, it just is about people and their lives, as weird and as normal as they may be. DWP! gives it a hearty two pants down!

Today is White Trash Day here at work. We sampled the wonderful cuisine of these overlooked master chefs. The buffet included Chili-Mac, Ambrosia, Corn Muffin Dogs, Fried Spam, Cheez-Whiz, Twinkie Torte and much, much more.

In honor of the day, I'd like to share my two favorite White Trash recipes one which was present today and one which was not...

Fried Spam and Cheez-Whiz Sandwich
1 Can Spam
1 Can Cheez-Whiz
Wonder Bread

Slice and fry up the Spam until nice and brown on the outside. Take two slices of Wonder Bread and apply a healthy coat of Cheez-Whiz. Add Spam. Sandwich can be eaten as is or grilled like a grilled cheese.

Frito-Pie
1 Bag Fritos
1 Can of Nacho Cheese (Cheez-Whiz can ben used as well)
1 Can of Hormel Chili with Beans

Heat Chili and Cheese. Pour Fritos into a bowl, top with Chili and Cheese and mix well. A variation of this involves putting ingredients in a baking dish and baking, but my recipe works just as well. Another variation of this is getting a big grab of fritos and just pouring chili and cheese into the bag which you slit down the side. This sounds good to me as well.

Ahoy ye scurvy dogs. I just stumbled across t' website for our new favorite holiday, Talk Like a Pirate Day. TLAPD be on September 19th this year and it be a beauty o' a day. If ye'd like t' learn how t'talk like a Pirate visit www.talklikeapirate.com. As for I'm headin' home t' drink a couple o' grogs and eat some what crawled out o' t' bung hole. ARRRRRR!

Ok, DWP! was just shown this at work, it is quite disturbing. Click on the stars to make him dance.

The Down With Pants! crew took a vacation this weekend and headed to Eastern Washington for the Lind's 17th annual Combine Demolition Derby. After months of anticipation the event didn't disappoint one bit and will become an annual pilgrimage for DWP!.

Four to five thousand fans flocked to this little wheat town of maybe 400 in rural Eastern Washington for the derby. Lind has one bank, one restaurant, a bar and unpaved roads downtown but has a rodeo arena that seats 4,000 comfortably due to the increasing popularity of the derby.

The event consisted of four heats each about 10-15 minutes long where five or six combines duked it out until two remained somewhat running. Once the heats were finished and after a long break so that teams could get repairs done, there was a consolation round in which anybody who could drag their rig into the ring fought it out in hopes of moving on to the championship round. Two combines, the American Spirit (whose back wheels were knocked completely off) and Jaws (piloted by an 18 year-old newbie), moved on to the championship.

These combines, despite looking very slow and unmaneuverable were actually very agile and packed quite a punch. However just hitting them hard wasn't enough. The vulnerable part of a combine is their back wheels which are little tiny and very exposed. Take those out and most likely they will be unable to keep going.

The championship round started with 10 combines (the eight heat winners and the two consolation winners). It was very tough going as all of the rigs were very strong and lasted quite a long time. There were some huge hits in the ring but it seemed like everybody was able to keep going. Eventually only four remained. Jaws, American Spirit (who was stronger than anybody even without it's wheels), Go Cougs and the blue combine (I can't remember it's name).

Go Cougs and American Spirit took each other out and Jaws and the Blue Combine remained. Each backed up and took head on shots at each other for a few minutes but neither machine would give in. Eventually the judges stopped the match and split the championship between these two deserving warriors.

It truly was the most fun I've had at a sporting event in years and will become a tradition. It's a great community event for Lind and that entire region. Congratulations to the combatants and the city of Lind for putting on such a great show. If you want to see more about it go to Lind's website or watch for the new Discovery Channel show Monster Nation which was filming the event for an upcoming show.

This is for Death...



You were not named after a porno star. Angie Dickinson was a top actress in the 70's after appearing in movies like Rio Bravo with John Wayne and Dean Martin, Ocean's Eleven with Dino and Frank Sinatra and The Chase with Marlon Brando and Robert Redford. She also starred in the TV series "Police Women" which was wildly popular when it first debuted.

She had an on-again/off-again ten year relationship with Frank Sinatra but eventually married composer Burt Bacharach. They divorced in the early 80's.

She did some controversial nude scenes in Big Bad Mama and Dressed To Kill but no porn. None of her films or roles would be considered outstanding and she did a lot of "B" grade films early in her career but she was very popular and respected and to this day is still very popular. Her latest films include Big Bad Love and Pay It Forward.

Thanks to One Notorious Slattern for finding this...Apparently we at DWP! are Naughty, Nutty and twice as Tasty!

Down With Pants! is sick of bosses. I currently have three jobs, and on Thursday two of my bosses (the owner of one of the companies, and the head honcho of our department at the other. Neither of which are G, my drunken rampaging boss who is a completely different story and neither are from the Aquasox) went completely and obsessively nutzo.

Really, who notices the dust seven feet off of the ground on the top of a heating pipe? Or who sees one little scrap of paper on the floor and proclaims that "this department is out of control"? A bored boss with nothing better to do, that's who.

Of course people will say, "that attention to detail is what gets them to where they are today." To which I reply, "shut the hell up you fascist sympathizing pig!"

So today DWP! would publicly like to say to all of the bosses out there please, for the love of god, find something to do. We find things to do all day long. Our days are currently full. Other people have found plenty for us to do. We don't need you coming around and creating a crisis over virtually nothing, even if some of us have been peeing on the walls.

The Memorial Day weekend brought an unexpected stoppage of information here at Down With Pants! as we unfortunately contracted a worm and were stripped of our internet usage until we could get it fixed. Thankfully, we are back online.

Unfettered by the gloom that comes with major holidays in Seattle, the DWP! crew packed the weekend full. A BBQ in Olympia on Saturday, Folklife Festival on Sunday and Van Gogh at SAM and a Mariners game on Monday. What started out as frustration about how every campsite in the entire state had been previously reserved turned out to be a great weekend.

Today I had orientation at the Everett Aquasox as I begin my third job. I'll be a Section Leader, which basically means I will get to see many baseball games this year.

Finally, it's official. We will be attending the Combine Demolition Derby in Lind, Washington this year. Only 10 more days until this great event kicks off. Rest assured that DWP! will be on the scene and will give you all the gory details!