Last Non-Daddy DWP! Blog Post

Posted by Brandon |

FYI - We are getting ready to head to the hospital tonight so that Death? can be induced. Our little girl will be with us within the next couple days! Maybe tomorrow, maybe Thursday, we'll see. Inducing can take a little while, let's hope for some quickness. But baby is fine and mom is fine, it's just the right time to get the process going.

I'm really, really excited. I just cleaned the entire house not only because the parents are coming, but because I don't want our baby to come home to squalor. Since this is a little sudden and early, I had nothing ready. Yes, I began nesting at around noon today. The daddy hormones are off the charts.

Anyway, I probably won't give any more updates on here for a while, but I might Twitter some updates, so if you want to follow me, head to my page over at Twitter.


Treat Yourself to a Little Cinema

Posted by Brandon |

Since a good portion of us don't get Martin Luther King Jr. Day off anymore, I propose that we the people take a personal holiday Friday and spend the whole day at the cinemas. There are just so many incredible movies opening that day, we should get them all in one sitting...

First film: How She Move - Oh yeah, another dance/step film. What a great way to get the day and the juices flowing. A little light hearted battling to lead us into...

Second film: RAM-MOTHER-FUCKING-BO - Woooooooo hooooooo! USA! USA! USA! I just pray it doesn't devolve into some taught political thriller. I want the taste of terrorist blood on my lips when we head across the multiplex to see...

Third film: Untraceable - Ooooo....a horror/thriller film about the perils of the internet? This is sure to be both plausible and shit your pants ridiculous. Nothing like torture on a Friday night.

Fourth film: Meet The Spartans - From the terrors of Untraceable to what looks like it could become an all-time funny classic. Perfect! What a way to end the evening.

So, who's with me for this grand quadruple-header? Bueller?


Disgusting Creatures!

Posted by Brandon |

I saw this new transport vehicle this morning on the Ventura County Star and I got a little bit excited. But I was disappointed by the accompanying story.

Sadly, it is not manned by Jawas. Sorry.

BTW - Down With Pants! is not completely dead. Just in slow motion.


From the DWP! Flickr Group - No Pants 2K8

Posted by Brandon |

Whoops. Somehow I missed Improv Everywhere's No Pants 2K8 on the subway on January 12th. The movement spread to Portland and their MAX system where a nice little group of pants haters gathered to celebrate. That's where the above picture, taken by gumanow and posted in my DOWN WITH PANTS! Flickr group, originated.

There are so many reasons why I love Portland and their pantslessness is yet another to add to the already long list.

I sincerely hope that patrons riding the S.L.U.T. in Seattle dropped trough that day.


The Boomer

Posted by Brandon |

I worked for the Rio Grande Valley WhiteWings baseball team (now the Harlingen WhiteWings) as the Director of Media/Community Relations during the 2001 season. It was an interesting and difficult season to work for the WhiteWings and to be quite honest, I didn't like Harlingen very much. One season in the Valley was plenty. But I still had fun and wouldn't trade it for anything.

One afternoon before we headed to Edinburg for a game against the Roadrunners, we were sitting around the office shooting the breeze a little bit with our team's manager, Boston Red Sox hall-of-famer and one of the greatest characters I have ever known, George "The Boomer" Scott.

Once a great player for the Sox, The Boomer was a gruff, overweight, old school kind of a baseball guy from Mississippi that unfortunately had some health problems and was never well liked by his players. No matter, he was still hilarious in his own, understated way. I can still here him walk into the office and yell at me "HEY BIG MAN," I don't think he ever knew my real name. "YOU FIND A PITCHER FOR ME YET?"

When we traveled the 30 miles to Edinburg for games we rented a couple vans for the team and a pickup truck for Boomer instead of the usual sleeper bus. But we noticed that Boomer was picking up the equipment and leaving at 11:30 or noon for a game giving him a good two or three extra hours to get to the ballpark. We were curious as to why he was leaving so early for ballgames and he explained that he had been going to a barbeque place in McAllen for lunch and to take it easy for a little while before the game.

"The owner of that place is a total asshole," piped in our assistant GM, John. "They have good food, but he doesn't sponsor us and is always a jerk when you talk to him."

A silence settled over the room and after a long pause, Boomer, in all sincerity, broke it in the only way that The Boomer - keep in mind he's a big, old school, Mississippi born African-American - could....

"Whell......Ah don't go dere to find out that the man is an ass-HOLE. Ah go there... fortheCHICKEN!"

And with that....we lost it. I think I laughed for half an hour straight.

You're the man Boomer, wherever you are. You might be the only reason I have any positive memories of my time with the WhiteWings.


Gotta Love the Outlets

Posted by Brandon |

With only a month left to go, baby fever is starting to hit it's peak around here. Last night we decided to use a little bit of retail therapy and headed to the Camarillo Premium Outlets and one of the best, cheap, cute outlets there, The Children's Place. We bought a few things but more than anything, I was really confused by the fact that The Children's Place doesn't seem to understand human reproduction very well...

OK, I guess this could happen. A 6-9 month old could be a big sister if either they are the older twin or mom got pregnant again minutes after giving birth (not really possible)...

But unless I am mistaken - a high school education isn't what it's cracked up to be anymore - a birthday girl cannot be 6-9 months old. Right?


Invest Wisely

Posted by Brandon |

This is a dramatization of a license plate frame that I saw tonight on the back of a Saturn VUE. There are just far too many things wrong with this to even get into.


Long, Hard Caucuses

Posted by Brandon |

With today marking the first of the presidential caucuses, it reminds me of the very first Washington State Democratic caucus that I attended nearly four years ago. What a joke that was.

My caucus location was at an Olympia retirement community’s clubhouse and I’m pretty sure that the only people who showed up were residents. Seriously, I was the only person under the age of 60 in the whole building. I almost turned around and left right then and there because I knew that any ideas that I had would never be heard and I would have absolutely no bearing on the outcome.

Sure enough, when we broke into groups I was the only person in the room that wasn’t for John Kerry. How that stiff ever convinced people to vote for him in primaries and caucuses is beyond me. I ended up supporting him as much as I could and eventually voted for him in the general election given the evil alternative, but I never felt good about it. I knew early on that he had no chance to win. Why was I the only one?

I tried to get in my argument as to why I thought that Kerry was the wrong choice, but I was drowned out by seniors who basically just wanted to either socialize with each other or relive the glory of their college years as that guy that stood up at lectures and asked long winded, self-aggrandizing, personal diatribe statement “questions” that people just rolled their eyes at and beleaguered the speakers.

After a half hour of “debate” about nothing of any substance, I was totally disillusioned with the caucus process. So I let the ruling faction of my party continue to discuss cold creams (I’m not kidding) and I hightailed it out of there. And the caucus process is better than primaries how?

I sincerely hope that the Iowa caucuses – which do mean a little something unlike the afterthought Washington ones that year – are a little more lively and useful. Although I have no idea how you choose from one of these computer generated candidates other than determining if you’d rather vote for a black senator with a Muslim name, a Hispanic governor with an Anglo name, an uber-famous former first lady or a white guy with good hair.


New Year Baby, Same Old Drama

Posted by Brandon |

Happy New Year everybody! With a baby on the way in 2008 and my daddy hormones chugging at full speed, I was tickled to read an article in the Ventura County Star today about the first baby born in the county this year...

"Josie Ruiz was in familiar surroundings when she delivered Ventura County's first baby of the year at 1 a.m. on New Year's Day...Ruiz is a patient account representative at Community Memorial Hospital in Ventura, where she gave birth to her fourth child, a girl who weighed 7 pounds, 8 ounces."

Isn't that nice? And the picture that accompanies the article is great. Mrs. Ruiz looks so happy and the baby is absolutely adorable. It's a happy, fluffy article that deserves nothing more than a congratulations and a smile.

But I made a mistake in scrolling down to the comments section, a mistake that I used to make far too often, a mistake that used to get me really angry with all of the trolls that rule the comments section, a mistake that I corrected and I've been much happier because of it. Yes, it was my mistake, I wish I never would've read these totally racist, inappropriate comments (paraphrased a bit since they've thankfully been removed)...

Freedom 1 - "Surprise, surprise. The first baby born in Ventura is Hispanic and the Father doesn't speak any English. Great.

jprieto - "Surprise, suprise #2 - guess who'll pay for this? Us taxpayers and hard working folks."

...these were just the first two, they just got worse from there on.

For those of you who don't think that the anti-immigration crowd is racially motivated or at the very least are spawning racism towards Hispanics no matter their situation, look no further than these idiotic comments. Based solely on the name, these bigots presumptuously decided the Ruiz's were illegals without insurance that didn't speak any Spanish (there is a line later in the article that translates the dad's Spanish quote into English) who are too stupid to understand birth control and are looking to the system for a handout and to raise their child.

When you take something as innocent as an article like this, ignore the facts (she's employed by the hospital, he's a forklift driver) and start making ignorant presumptions, that makes you a racist. And unfortunately, the immigration "debate" is creating a climate of hate that is taking it's toll on all Hispanics, not just illegals.

For example, my co-worker and her family - who are here legally - were the target of a random phone hate attack last month that scared them enough to change their home phone number. Someone called their house and accused her husband of stealing his social security number, his credit card number and accused him of paying all of their bills with that credit card number. He berated them and threatened that he would call the police and immigration and have them deported if they didn't admit what they did. Her husband doesn't speak great English, though he's learning, and was really confused. She was in the shower at the time but got out in time to tell the guy off and hang up on him. Understandably, she was embarrassed, confused, pissed off and most of all, scared.

This bullshit is unacceptable. Hard working folks like the Ruiz Family and my co-worker shouldn't have to put up with crap like this. Sadly, racism is alive and kicking in this country, it's just hiding behind the idea of anti-immigration where it gets a free pass. It makes me sick.

Anyway, welcome to the world little Ruiz! Do not worry, you will be raised in a bilingual world and when you are old enough to go to college and/or get a job in this ever growing bilingual county (a trend that won't stop no matter what happens), you will have one up on the kids of these racists and xenophobes. You'll have the last laugh, I'm sure of it.