I just overheard my downstairs neighbor scream at someone on the telephone, "SEE YA! WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YA!" That's right, she is 12 (not really, she is, like, 35-40. But she smokes so she might be 25).
This event reminded me of the letter that I wrote to her one night last year after a particularly awful display. I've written quite a few more letters since then (click here, here, here) and I feel that I am starting to hone this craft (albeit with a ton grammatical errors, I hate reading old posts sometimes).
I have decided to offer my services in letter writing to you, my loyal Down With Pants! revolutionaries. If you have someone that is really ticking you off or you just need to say something offensive to them but want to do it discreetly and anonymously, please leave me a comment or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with who you would like me to write to and a little bit of the story.
Next week I will post one letter each day and also, if you would like, send you a copy on official Down With Pants! letterhead to be distributed to this offender. I'll take the first five suggestions and guarantee you a letter next week. If more people are interested, I will take a look at those on a case-by-case basis.
Keep your head up and your pants down!