5/11/2005

Narnarnarnar Vs. Love-A-Palooza 2005

Posted by DWP! Guest |

GUEST BLOGGER: Ted from Narnarnarnar.

(A heavily fictionalized account of Love-A-Palooza 2005, Part the First)

Narnarnarnar and Hips-O-Doom had been looking forward to the nuptials of DWP! and Death? for quite some time. While Hips-O-Doom was looking forward to her first stint as a bridesmaid, Narnarnarnar had other plans. He was going to wear something so gorgeous to the reception that it would cause a mind-bending sensation that curved the fabric of space-time and echoed down through the ages. A nuclear holocaust of fashion, if you will.

In preparation for this, he started shopping for his getup weeks in advance. The bottom was a no-brainer: a jewel encrusted Utilikilt with a seven foot tall fan of peacock feathers extending from the backside, making it look like a shredded, Paul Bunyan-scale CD was exploding from his butt. The top was more of a problem. Narnarnarnar did not want to force it, so he wandered the department stores and thrift stores, waiting for it all to click.

Deep in the back of American Eagle, he found it. It was given to him by a withered old Chinese man who looked a little like Pat Morita, and little like the guy from the beginning of Gremlins. He opened a black onyx steamer trunk covered with deep claw marks, and supernatural yellow light spilled out. There it was. A fiber optic mesh shirt.

(Next: The eyesore arrives at Love-A-Palooza 2005)

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